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DEAR CHRISTINE: He got married but still wants me

marciadottin, [email protected]

DEAR CHRISTINE: He got married  but still wants me

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Dear Christine,
I AM FROM ONE of the islands and met [a man] from another country about six years ago.
I am a very generous and kind-hearted person, or maybe I should say a fool. Anyway, after we got to talking I found he was a very disturbed person and I would listen to his many problems.
When we met, he had just broken off with his girlfriend and was in great financial difficulty as well. After the girl left him he tried to kill himself. I had to act as a psychiatrist to get him back to his senses.
In all this, I grew to love this man and would do anything for him. He also said he loved me.
Since I am an independent person, I never looked to him for anything.
When he got back on his feet, he never even gave me a Christmas gift, much less a birthday one. When his birthday and Christmas came around, he would be very choosy.
He would choose the most expensive gift for me to buy for him. After two years he left me and went and had a child with another woman.
He swore it was not his, yet turned around and had a second.
Throughout this time I kept my cool, even when the woman would call at my home to ask me if he was there.
He then had the nerve to call and ask me for money to give the woman for their children. Would you believe Christine, that, I gave it to him?
He had another girlfriend overseas and would tell me I am nicer than her. I told him that when she came back, he would leave me.
He swore not.
Christine, this woman came back and he never told me a word. She came on a short holiday and for all that time I did not see him until two days before she left. He called to say he was coming to talk to me.
It was then that he dropped the bomb.
After telling me how much he loved me, he said: “I got married yesterday,” and then added, “but that won’t affect us. She will be gone and you will have me all the time for yourself.”
I asked him what was going to happen when she came back. He said: “She will have to share me with you.”
I told him: “No way, if I am not good enough to marry, I won’t be living with you.”
Well, his wife finally came back and even though we are not involved she still blames me, so he wants me to make it true.
I don’t think they get along very well. Each time they have a quarrel, he comes to my home.
He wants me to help him finish his house and said he and I would live in it when it is finished. Still, whatever his wife asks for, she gets. Whatever she tells him to do, he does. He says he is trying to keep the peace.
Christine, I care for him, but a man like that who, when he wants money, comes and borrows it and never pays it back, makes me think that killing is too good for him.
Do you really think that he is trying to keep the peace or making a fool out of me?
– BW
Dear BW,
I really don’t know who has bewitched you, but this man has been taking and continues to take you for some long rides.
You don’t seem to have it in you to press the button and get off.
Why have you allowed him to use you so badly? Are you so hard up for “love” and attention that you’ve lost all your senses? When he got the girl pregnant the first time, you should have left him, but no, you stuck around even after the second child came.  
Girl, start loving yourself. You deserve better. It’s not for me to call you a fool; but I will say he is making you look foolish and pathetic.
Save your money and spend it on yourself. It seems to me right now you’re the one who needs some psychiatric help.
Stay as far away as you can from this man and his wife.