PLAY is natural and essential for the growth and development of young children; for play to a child is like work to an adult.
Children put every ounce of energy and concentration into play, for it is their way of learning about themselves, other people, and the physical world. However, there are some games that go beyond our imagination that children play – “forbidden games”.
Gone are the days when children played hopscotch, rounders, Chinese skip, hide and seek and circle games. Children are finding more “creative” ways to engage in play and are now playing games such as hide and f**p, backshots and lipservice.
Hide and f**p has now become one of the most popular games that some young children play. This game is most popular between the nine to 11 age groups and is played similarly to hide and seek but instead the girls hide and only the boys seek. When the girls are found they must bend over and the boys gyrate on them. Not only do they gyrate but they engage in kissing and fondling. What is “mind boggling” and disturbing about this game is that when played at home the girls are asked to wear short skirts and go without underwear.
Boys are also engaging in sexual games with other boys as well. The boys are now playing “backshots”. “Backshots” as the name suggests is a game where the boys gyrate on each other from behind. This game goes beyond the playing field and some boys meet in bathrooms or other hidden areas and engage in this activity.
“Lipservice” is another forbidden game. It involves children performing oral sex (fellatio, cunnilingus) on each other. This service is performed with boys on boys, boys on girls or girls on girls.
Parents must not be alarmed but be more vigilant of the activities their children are engaging in. Here are some guidelines for parents:
• Instil positive values in your children.
• Be sure that your children are properly supervised after school hours.
• Build a relationship where there is open dialogue and effective communication.
• Take a deeper interest in what is happening at the school – meet with the teachers and find a solution to make the schooling of your children more productive and satisfying.
• Be aware of the friends of your children.
• Monitor the outdoor activities of your children.
• Be wise, and be aware of the games your children play.
• Be with it, learn the “new language”
Many behaviours are healthy and normal for children at certain ages. However, there are some which parents and the society as a whole should be concerned about. These sexual behaviours are worrisome and should not be ignored or seen as child’s play. Remember, the values instilled in your children play a significant role in their sexual thinking.
• Rhonda A. Blackman is an educator, a National Development Scholar and former president of the Early Childhood Association of Barbados Inc. Email: [email protected]