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De punishment fit de crime!

rhondathompson, [email protected]

De punishment  fit de crime!

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Dear Nesta,
How you, muh girl? All is well? I glad enuff to see de winter season nearly over an’ yuh en had no slips nor slides in dah snow! Don’ fuhget, ole bones don’ men’ as fas’ as young ones!
My nighber fall down, hurtin’ she hip an’ shoulder, an’ upwards to now – almos’ t’ree monfs gone – she en fully better yet. She still cyahn get ’bout as she us-ed to! Anyhow, enuff o’ de gloomy talk! T’ink positive, keep lookin’ up an’ don’ tek on neffin to stress yuh out.
I down hey, tryin’ to do jes’ dat  – keep stress at bay. But lemmuh tell yuh, nowadays  it en de easies’, hear? Dis is de Lenten Season, an’ de devil keepin’ t’ings hot enuff! Jes’ drop yuh guard fuh a minute, an’ yuh in trouble! We got a craze goin’ on hey call cash-fuh-gol’ – mo’ like “greed-fuh-gol’, ef yuh ax me – an’ it hurtin’ people enuff! I believe it start in Amurica, an’ like mos’ t’ings dat go on ovah dey, in two twos it reach Buhbayduss, an’ ketch on like wile fire.
Ef yuh li’l hard up, cash-fuh-gol’ could be quite a good way to mek a dollar offa any gol’ jewel’ry yuh en need no mo’, so it really helpin’ some people. Evaht’ing was fine, ’til a few dishones’ folk decide to get hol’ o’ people gol’ jewel’ry – FOC. An’ now, evaht’ing hit rock bottom! Locals, as well as tourisses, gettin’ rob day an’ night – chains, bracelets, rings, watches, as long as it is gol’, duh stickin’ yuh up – eiduh at gun or knife point – an’ tekkin’ it ’way!
Ole people is de easies’ targets! Mos’ times, po’ souls, dem en able to resis’ dese vagabon’s – mo’ so ef duh got a gun – so fightin’ back fuh dem outta de question!
Yuh tekkin’ de bigges’ risk to step out wearin’ anyt’ing dat is gol’ or look like gol’! So, I had to hit ’pon a plan! My onlies’ piece o’ gol’ – apart from couple rings – is muh watch, an’ I change de strap fuh a black lethuh one.  
When I go out, I en got one t’ing gol’ to show. Dese t’ieves would hardly try to snatch de type o’ watch I now wearin’ – it don’ look expensive enuff – an’ I tek off muh rings evah sence!
T’ings gettin’ so bad, police now advisin’ de public, fuh duh own safety, not to wear any jewel’ry when goin’ out. Leff it home! But, as Philomena could tell anybody, dah en no certainty yuh en gine get rob. She had all she “jewel’ry” put ’way in a box she us-ed to keep at home, ’til one day somebody enter, an’ tek way de whole box!
Now, Philomena is a woman dat believe mo’ is better, so de box did pack wid bare costume jewel’ry, an’ not even de expensive type – absolutely neffin o’ value! I believe de t’ief get so vex when e open de box, ’e jes pitch it one-side onder a tree, whey Philomena fin’ it de nex’ day – in tack!
But it en only gol’ jewel’ry people t’iefin’!
Crop t’ieves an’ de dishones’ people stannin’ by to receive de stolen goods, also mekkin’ mincemeat o’ we local farmers!
Police goin’ t’rough a ruff time tryin’ to keep dese t’ieves onder control, ’cause people nowadays don’ seem to be ’fraid o’ God or man! Duh en only laffin’ at de police but also at de Laws now in place! De aut’orities need to mek dem mo’ tight, an’ leh one or two feel de full weight o’ de law.
De res’ sure to straighten up an’ fly right!  
Tek care o’ yuhself.
Yuh frien’ Babsie.