Dear Christine,
I AM RESPONDING to the young woman who wrote about her boyfriend’s request that she should have an HIV test and to get tested to see if she can have children.
I think in this day and age it is an absolutely appropriate and responsible request. He should have suggested, however, that they both get tested for HIV as well as fertility, since men can have these issues as well.
I would encourage her to gently ask why he did not suggest the tests for himself. Not in an accusatory manner, for it just may not have crossed his mind that he should also be tested. However, it could be a case of latent chauvinism that even he is not aware of. In each relationship there should be an “even footing” for both parties. If he respects and loves her, he should not even bat an eyelid at such requests.
I was a virgin when I met my husband (he was not), and though we did not wait for marriage, we both were tested before we began a sexual relationship. He did not protest at all when I made the suggestion. He readily agreed. In fact, even though I was a virgin, I insisted that I be tested as well, not just for HIV but for all communicable diseases of that nature, such as hepatitis which can be spread through sweat.
One’s own safety is ultimately one’s own responsibility – no one else’s. We must take this very seriously. My husband and I have been together for close to eight years and although we are both faithful we still get tested once a year.
I hope these two young people have a long, healthy, happy life together.
– A.C.
Dear A.C.,
Thanks for your letter. Getting tested for HIV or other sexually transmitted these days is almost a mandatory part of life. I think everyone owes it to themselves and their spouses to take these tests.
– CHRISTINE
