DEAR CHRISTINE: His selfish ways getting to me
For the past four years I have been friendly with a guy who swears I am the only girl he has ever loved.
He is always saying that God made us for each other. Within our first three months of friendship he gave me two gifts valued at $150. Over a three-year period, he gave me one birthday gift – nothing for Christmas or otherwise.
When I was working and I saw something I liked for him, I would buy it for him no matter what it cost, whether it was for his birthday, Christmas or otherwise.
He went so far on one occasion as to ask me for $200 to help him fix his car, and I gave it to him.
When he is out of cash, he would ask me and I would always have it ready to give him. Anytime he comes to my mother’s house and says he is hungry, I will see that he gets something to eat and drink.
The real issue is that one monthend I was very low on cash and was not feeling well.
I told him I would like to go to the doctor but that my money was running out. He took a note from his pocket and handed it over to me. I was so ill, I told him to put it on the table and I would put it in my purse when I got up.
Would you believe that when he was leaving he took back up the note? I was so hurt, I did not know what to do.
This is 18 months now that I have been unemployed and this man still comes to my mother’s home expecting me to give him something to eat and drink whenever he feels like it.
Since I have been out of work he has been telling me to ask him for what I want. When I do, I feel it would be better for me to ask Sir Grantley’s bust on Bay Street, because I know he cannot hear me.
I have to ask my mother for all my needs, yet this man wants to make love to me whenever he is in the mood. When I refuse, he says the way I am acting will make him look for another woman. On some occasions, he would insinuate that I have another man.
Please give me some advice soon because I am fed up with such a thoughtless person.
Sorry to say, but that is not love. Moreso, you don’t have to put up with this man any more than you want to. You can put an end to this foolishness right now.
This man is taking what he can from you but he is not willing to give you much . . . just a trickle to keep you holding on with the hope that more will come. Trust me, it won’t.
I am not one who believes that because a man and woman are in a relationship, the man has to support the woman in every circumstance. But in your case, this man can see you need assistance, yet he is not prepared to help you as he should – not even after you’ve given him cash time and again.
Stop letting him use your body. It’s worth more than you think and more than he can pay.
I also believe you would be the fortunate one if he finds another woman. Who needs a thoughtless, selfish parasite like him around anyway?
Either call and let him know you cannot continue with him the way things are going, or simply wait until the next time he comes around for something to eat and drink.
Advise him that the pot is empty and that you won’t be giving any more of yourself to him to satisfy his selfish pleasures.