DEAR CHRISTINE: Husband unwilling to make decisions
I am a very liberated woman, but sometimes I wish my husband would assume more responsibility.
We have been married just over a year and are still very much in love but sometimes I resent the fact that he seems to rely on me to do everything and make every decision.
My other girlfriends complain because they are not consulted when it comes to important family decisions. With me it’s the opposite; I complain because I have to make practically all the decisions.
It seems like a heavy burden. It’s as though my husband is afraid of doing the wrong thing.
He had a very strong-willed mother and maybe it is just that she ruled him with an iron hand.
On the other hand, I know if I had one of those egotistical, macho-type husbands, I would go out of my mind.
There must be some in-between. Is there?
Over-protective parents who always make decisions for their children provide little or no training ground for them.
In fact, such children can often grow up quite unwilling to make any real decisions on their own.
Some parents can also rob their youngsters of taking any initiative because they spend too much time putting them down for every effort they make, and instil fear of failure in them.
Your situation is not hopeless. You can help your husband overcome his problem and encourage him to be more self-reliant.
When he questions you about certain decisions, tell him to make them on his own and you’ll support whatever decision he makes. This should give him some measure of confidence in himself.
Maybe in the beginning you’ll have to insist, but I believe that eventually, you’ll find yourself with a brand-new, assertive and confident partner.