DEAR CHRISTINE: Can’t get her to stop complaining

Dear Christine,
I am a 30-year-old man who is currently married to an otherwise wonderful 25-year-old woman. Like most married couples, we have our share of disagreements and that’s okay with me.
However, what is really a bother is that she complains about almost everything.
For instance, we agreed to have a house pet that is not quite properly trained. My wife gets very frustrated by the pet’s habits. There are also days when, for no apparent reason, she begins to yell – either at me or the pet.
She even hits the furniture and equipment around the home if they do not work right or if she gets angry. In fact, she always seems to get angry. All this is starting to keep me on edge.
When I have to talk to her about her behaviour she gets on the defensive and accuses me of accusing her. I am getting really scared.
What am I doing wrong? I give her whatever she wants and support her in whatever she does. We have discussed the possibility of having children within another year, but I do not want to bring a child into a situation like this one.
I’ve seen her around children and they also get on her nerves after a couple of hours. What can I do?
– In Need of Urgent Advice
Dear In Need Of Urgent Advice,
Your wife needs help. You seem to be aware of this. Is she?
Any woman, and should I say young woman, who complains about so many things and has such a destructive behaviour must be dealing with some serious issues. In order for you two to move forward, these issues must be dealt with pronto.
Don’t even consider children at this time. It wouldn’t be fair to bring a child into such an environment. A yelling, upset, woman who attacks appliances does not need an infant around – at all.
She needs anger management therapy and help from a trained professional. As it is right now, you two are sharing the same home but living worlds apart.
Since she often places the blame on you, this tells me she may not be willing to admit her faults.
You’ve got to do your utmost best to convince her that things cannot continue the way they are. One day she may get totally out of control. Do something soon.
– CHRISTINE