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Insecks – de food o’ de future?

shadiasimpson, [email protected]

Insecks – de food o’ de future?

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Dear Nesta,
How yuh gettin’ t’rough girlchile? Abidin’ in de faif like me? Yuh coulds well, ’cause life short enuff as it is, an’ we got to be thenkful fuh healf an’ strengf! Dem two t’ings better dan all de money in de worl’, y’know!
Now, you know how hard um is wid me nowadays to fin’ de few “nay nay” cents fuh de shop. An’ it gettin’ from bad to wors’. But it seem I might get some relief – dah is, ef I decide to change muh eatin’ habits. But, to tell de troof, I en too sure ef I could get muhself to de stage when I gine start eatin’ insecks. Yes, yuh hear right, “insecks”!  
I recently read dat de big-able United Nations in Rome come out an’ say de lates’ weapon in duh fight ‘gainst hunger, global warmin’ an’ pollution might be some o’ dem li’l flyin’ objecks dat yuh usually fin’ buzzin’ ’roun’ yuh head. Imagine dese insecks now gettin’ promote as a low-fat, high-protein food for people, pets an’ livestock. Yuck! An’ ’ccordin’ to de UN, dey come not only wid “appetisin’ side benefits”, but duh reduce greenhouse gases an’ livestock pollution, an’ feed millions of hungry people in de worl’. Now which scientis’ wuk dah one out?
At dis moment, it look as ef ’bout two billion people, mos’ly in Asia, Africa an’ Latin Amurica eatin’ insecks. Life mussee very hard fuh dem out dey. De UN report say red ants, small grasshoppers an’ some water beetles got as much protein as lean groun’ beef, widout havin’ all dah fat we like summuch. Some o’ dese insecks also got in minerals like iron, magnesium, phosphorous, selenium an’ zinc.
An’ pharmaceutical comp’nies also usin’ colourin’s from some o’ dem fuh duh pills Lord have ‘Is mercy, yuh en know wuh de France yuh puttin’ in yuh stomachs dese days. But I suppose, wuh don’ kill, does fatten, an’ yuh don’ seem to hear ’bout anybody dyin’ from eatin’ insecks yet. An’ after all, out dey in de Eas’ – de Wes’ too – dogs suppose to be a delicacy – roast rats too, from wuh I hearin.  
Now, as you know, I en got one t’ing to do wid meat, so duh could keep all de dogs, cats, roas’ rats, ants an’ wuhevah else fuh all dem people dat like to experiment wid duh stomachs. ’Mong de favourites is beetles an’ caterpillars, but wasps, ants, grasshoppers, locus’s an’ crickets en far behin’.
I onderstan’ yuh could now fin’ dese “tasty” insecks on sale at certain markets! Well, I suppose ef yuh could eat snails, mountain chicken an’ monkey meat, wuh‘s to stop yuh from eatin’ insecks? At leas’, dem appear to got nuff minerals.
I been tryin’ to imagine dese foreign objecks goin’ down my t’roat, but regardless o’ hummuch protein an’ de lotta minerals duh might got, dat good fuh muh, neffin-so en goin’ in my craw. I en got de slightes’ intention o’ puttin’ anyt’ing like dat in my stomach. I been a “vetenarian” fuh too long now, an’ would prefer to eat grass firs’, an’ dah might be mo’ soon dan I t’ink, de way life gine nowadays.  
Ness, de food we eatin’ nowadays en sayin’ a “pang”. ’Pon lan’ we dodgin’ “mad cow disease”, de seas now drownin’ we wid pollution – much wors’ sence dah disaster in Japan couple years ago. An’ de crops – vegetables an’ fruits, bofe local an’ imported – gettin’ spray wid all sorts o’ pesticides. So ef dese insecks now appearin’ to help we out, duh might jes’ turn out to be de new food o’ de future, right?
Tek care o’ yuhselfYuh frien’ Babsie