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I CONFESS: Want to get away from my husband

marciadottin, [email protected]

I CONFESS: Want to get away from my husband

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I WAS?TAUGHT that you grow up, get married, have kids and sail into the sunset. But boy was I wrong.
I saw signs in my husband that I thought love could fix – the cheating, drinking and hitting which I put up with for years. This man has made my life a living hell in what he interprets as love. He tries to do things to me in front of my four kids. He has no respect.
I have made numerous complaints for him to the police and to his parents, who feel their son is God’s gift to women and is right no matter what he does to me.
When we went to court the judge gave me a restraining order which he keeps breaking.
A lot of people reading this would ask, why not get him locked up?
Well, I am not working. He is the sole provider and we live in his parents’ house, so he feels he has the right to do as he pleases.
The things this man does to me are taking their toll on my kids. When he is intoxicated he causes havoc from late in the night to the wee hours of the next morning. His behaviour is so bad that I am frightened my boys will turn out just like him. My living conditions are like a time bomb waiting to explode.
I went to the Welfare Department for assistance only to be looked at in a way that seemed to send the message, “Why are you in here? You don’t look like you need help.”
Maybe if I was dressed in rags and had unkempt hair, then maybe I would have looked the part and they would have taken me on.
I have sent numerous job applications, but nothing has happened for me as yet. Everyone says I am not trying hard enough and they ask why I don’t move out.
God knows I would love to move, but a job is vital. Plus, go where? My mother offers me what help she can, but she is struggling and under stress.
All I want is an opportunity to make a better life for my kids and a place where we can have a good night’s sleep without fear. I don’t want to be another victim of circumstance, who might get an unlucky blow. Then my kids will suffer.
Despite all what he has done, I don’t hate him. I know he has a problem, which I hope he gets help for – but with me no longer in the equation.