Dear Christine,
I AM a professional 47-year-old man and I guess you can say that I am a victim. About seven years ago I was hurt in a relationship.
My girlfriend at the time, whom I truly loved, drained my bank account, to which she had access, of about $5 000 and ran off with another man.
Now I am afraid of getting into another relationship because I fear I may get hurt again. I have not been in a relationship since that happened to me.
I have been out on many dates with women since then but I am afraid to commit because I fear getting hurt again. I have a 20-year-old daughter who tells me all the time that I need to settle down and commit, but I am scared to do so. How can I break this pattern of fear in my life?
– FEARFUL
Dear Fearful,
I would think that since the relationship between you and this woman included the fact that you had given her access to your money, you’d be wise enough to know next time around that that’s a complete “no-no”.
Seven years is quite a long time for you to be walking around in fear that the next woman you commit yourself to will “drain you of your money and run off with someone else”. Are you so free-handed that it is likely to happen again?
What I see happening here is that you continue to give the woman who wronged you a lot of power over your life and happiness.
She is not in the picture physically but she is there all right as long as you allow what she did to control your other relationships.
You made a mistake in judgement, but it is not the end of the world. Life is about taking risks. We win some and we lose some, but we move on.
Don’t let that dishonest and inconsiderate woman continue to govern your life. She will undoubtedly reap what she sows.
Seek some advice or counselling so you can get over this unfortunate relationship, or simply forgive that woman and move on.
Get all you deserve out of life. Learn to live, love and most of all, to forgive.
– CHRISTINE
