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Too afraid to start another relationship


shadiasimpson, [email protected]

Too afraid to start another relationship

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Dear Christine, 
I AM a professional  47-year-old man and  I guess you can say that  I am a victim. About seven years ago I was hurt in a relationship.
My girlfriend at the time, whom I truly loved, drained my bank account, to which she had access, of about $5 000 and ran off with another man.
Now I am afraid of getting into another relationship because I fear I may get hurt again.  I have not been in a relationship since that happened to me.
I have been out on many dates with women since then but I am afraid to commit because I fear getting hurt again. I have a 20-year-old daughter who tells me all the time that I need to settle down and commit, but I am scared to do so. How can I break this pattern of fear in my life? 
– FEARFUL  
Dear Fearful, 
I would think that since the relationship between you and this woman included the fact that you had given her access to your money, you’d be wise enough to know next time around that that’s a complete “no-no”.
Seven years is quite a long time for you  to be walking around  in fear that the next woman you commit yourself to will “drain you of your money  and run off with someone else”. Are  you so free-handed  that it is likely to happen again?
What I see happening here is that you continue to give  the woman who wronged you a lot of power over your life and happiness.
She is not in the picture physically  but she is there all right as long as you allow what she did  to control your  other relationships.
You made a mistake in judgement, but  it is not the end  of the world. Life  is about taking risks. We win some and  we lose some, but  we move on.
Don’t let that dishonest and inconsiderate woman continue to govern your life. She will undoubtedly reap  what she sows.
Seek some advice  or counselling so  you can get over  this unfortunate relationship, or simply forgive that woman and move on.
Get all you deserve out of life. Learn  to live, love and most  of all, to forgive. 
– CHRISTINE

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