Dear Christine,
I’D LIKE TO SHARE a very sensitive issue with you. Why is it that men can be so insensitive toward recent widows? Some of them hit on us within a month of the death of our loved one, while we’re still in shock and obviously still mourning. They just do not give us time to put our lives back together. In fact, sometimes we even have to go through a process of putting our families back together.
Who are these culprits? Co-workers who I thought were good friends, friends of my late husband, and even men from my church – to name a few. Once, while I was having lunch in a restaurant with a female friend, a male acquaintance stopped by our table and – as calmly as ordering a hamburger – told me his wife was in the hospital and he “needed some loving!”
Don’t these men have any idea how demeaning and vulgar their behaviour is?
A long-time friend of mine just lost her husband. She didn’t believe me when I told her about my experience. Christine, within a month, she had her own stories to tell! What’s astonishing is that the majority of these men are married.
When my husband was alive, I had great respect for men. For that, I credit my husband, who was an honourable and loving family man. Now, however, I’m whistling a different tune.
– Still Grieving
Dear Still Grieving,
You’re right! It’s very insensitive on the part of these men to hit on you while you’re still grieving. And the saying that men are predators holds water under such circumstances.
Some of them may think that you are hard up for love and believe they need to offer their services. Others may even be of the opinion that your husband’s death left you a very rich widow.
In any case, do not be afraid or hesitate to tell them exactly how you feel about their insensitivity and that you despise their forwardness.
You should also remind those who are married that they are already committed and you wouldn’t be interested in them even if they were not married.
I am certain their wives would be most disappointed if they knew what their husbands were up to. I am 100 per cent sure it would result in some stimulating breakfast conversation.– CHRISTINE
