Dear Christine,
I HAVE a huge problem. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and are getting married in October. The problem is my soon-to-be mother-in-law. She is a great lady and we get along very well. However, she insists on accompanying us on our honeymoon!
My husband-to-be told her the honeymoon is going to be just for us. He tried to tell her we all could go someplace together another time, but that did not help at all. She got upset and got off the phone with him, saying she was “only joking” but she’d work on me.
This is a nightmare. She’s normally a pleasant and reasonable person who I like a lot. That’s why I don’t understand why she can’t see this is a huge intrusion. I am aware that my boyfriend is her only child, but surely that does not give her reason to believe she has inherited another child – me – and that she needs to accompany us wherever we go. And on our honeymoon, of all places.
Please help. I don’t want to have to change my honeymoon destination to someplace she may not want to go, neither do I want to become her public enemy number one.
– BRIDE-TO-BE
Dear Bride-To-Be,
You don’t have a problem at all. Why would you think that you have one and that you may have to find another destination where your future mother-in-law doesn’t want to go?
Have you provided her with information on where you will be staying and what time your flight leaves?
If your answer is yes, you still do not have a problem. When it is time for you and your husband to travel, just do it and do not include your mother-in-law in your plans. She is way out of line.
In fact, this woman you call a “great lady” obviously has some control issues or a serious case of separation anxiety if she is set on going wherever her son goes. She could benefit from some stern counselling.
Although there are couples who include extended family on their honeymoons and a good time is had by all, unless all parties are equally enthusiastic, it is extremely presumptuous for an in-law to continue to harp on it once the suggestion has been rejected.
Unless you want your marriage to turn into a family affair, you and your fiancé must stand your ground.
– CHRISTINE
