AWRIGHT DEN: Husband to father
Do you talk to yourself? Well I do on many occasions. Just like Porgie, I talk to myself, and myself says, “Yow!”
Whenever I have to conduct a workshop or be a panellist or a speaker at an event, I usually go to a private area in my home, more often than not the bathroom, and practise and prepare what I want to say. Actually, it starts off as a brainstorming activity and as I start to flow I get into character as if I was actually conducting the workshop or making the presentation. I try to think of questions I may be asked and try to find various answers to them, and I am sometimes forced to do some research.
This morning I will be on CITA Radio with Marissa to discuss my experience and role as a father. On Saturday, while hanging out some clothes, I started to brainstorm about what I could say, how I would say it and the tone I would use. While talking to an imaginary Marissa (lol lol), I pictured her asking me a question:
Corey, how would you define your role as a father and how has the experience been for you?
Marissa, you ask me about my role as a father but I find it extremely difficult to speak about my role as a dad without speaking about my role as a husband first.
In society, it is normal and acceptable to be a father without being a husband but that wasn’t God’s desire or mankind. The Kingdom’s position is for man to be a husband first, then a father.
The role of a husband should precede the role of a father and I believe this is so since a wife develops a husband’s character and solidifies his role.
A husband honours his wife, provides for her, encourages and supports her, protects her, builds her up by speaking positive things into her life, comforts her, guides and advises her and also keeps her in check. As he does all these things, his character is being shaped, tested and strengthened. He learns patience, unconditional love, resourcefulness, respect, kindness, selflessness, humility, gracefulness and strength.
A good husband always thinks about his wife before himself and how he can honour her consistently. He buys nice things for her, takes her nice places and creates an atmosphere of warmth, joy and pleasantness within the home.
A man by nature is a conqueror and prides on overcoming challenges and solving problems. A husband, being a man, helps his wife conquer difficult areas in her life, and provides the support needed for her to develop this quality. A husband must have vision and foresight. He must know where he wants to take his family and have a general idea how he will get there. He must also be able to see the strengths and weaknesses in his wife and provide the support and resources to see her reach her goals and achieve her destiny.
A husband’s role is to cultivate his wife. He is to provide a potent, rich and safe environment for her dreams to germinate and develop. He must fertilize her passions and endeavours with love and support and water them with hope and optimism. He must aggressively protect her destiny and calling over time so that in due season, she would blossom with the fragrance of success and bear tangible fruits in business, education, intellect, compassion and righteousness, which would be a blessing to all humanity.
A man’s relationship with God helps define a husband’s relationship with his wife. An idolatrous man may eventually become an adulterous husband. If he cheats on God, what is to stop him from cheating on his wife? A husband must be a priest in his home and spend time praying for his wife.
All of those husbandly functions smoothly translate into the functions of a father. My role as a father is birthed from my role as a husband and is generally the same.
I have had a great experience as a husband thus far and it has prepared me well for my role as a dad, which I am fully enjoying.
• Corey Worrell is a former Commonwealth Youth Ambassador.