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De rich got nuff dollars an’ no sense


shadiasimpson, [email protected]

De rich got nuff dollars an’ no sense

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Dear Nesta,
Wuh happenin’, dear-heart? I still hey, but tell yuh, I en know ef I comin’ or goin’ dese days. Evahbody in de Turnin’, includin’ muhself,  jes’ like “Laddy-dah”. So I always glad when you sen’ some English papers, ’cause I could always fine somet’ing in dem to gi’e muh a laff an’ help lif’ muh spirits.
Dis time, when I read how some rich folk does t’row ’bout money – ’pon . . . cosmetic surgery fuh duh dogs – it look to me as ef dese people got mo’ dollars dan “sense”, yuh! I had to read mo’ dan once, dah story ’bout dogs gettin’ dese operations, ‘cause at firs’, I t’ought it was some sort o’ joke. Wuh de wealfy gine t’ink ’bout nex’, is beyon’ me. But I suppose duh got de money an’ it mek to spen’, so duh spennin’ it. “Man’s bes’ frien’” really gettin’ de bes’ man could afford – jes’ fancy, cosmetic surgery! I of’en read ’bout cats an’ dogs wearin’ diamon’ collars, but cosmetic surgery? Wuhloss!     
Summuch people starvin’ in dis worl’ an’ would be glad fuh li’l help, an’ ’ccordin’ to you newspaper, we got a “growin’ number o’ dog owners” now turnin’ to cosmetic surgery tryin’ to improve de looks o’ duh dogs. Fuh wuh? Jes’ like yoomans . . . start showin’ li’l age, an’ evahbody get nerviss!
Same t’ing wid dese dog owners! Duh now puttin’ duh dogs t’rough operations fuh facelif’s, tummy tucks, teef straightenin’ procedures an’ eyebrow corrections, sometimes costin’ mo’ dan $10 000! Some owners even turnin’ to Botox injections to remove wrinkles. Well, really! An’ it seem dese treatments becomin’ mo’ an’ mo’ popular.  
In a few cases, surgery is fuh healf reasons, but mos’ly it is really ’cause de owners t’ink it gine mek de dogs better an’ younger lookin’ – same t’ing wid yoomans. An’ as dese people could afford it, why not? It mek dem feel “big-up” to t’ink duh dog lookin’ better dan de nex’ one. Ef yuh ax me, it appear to be neffin mo’ dan a competition between de owners. De dogs certainly en got no say in de matter. Some vets refuse to do dese operations, sayin’ it is neffin but onnecessary cruelty to dese animals – an’ duh en wrong.  
One woman pay out mo’ dan $13 000 fuh she dog to get a tummy tuck. De animal was too fat an’ had to go ’pon a diet to lose some weight, so she t’ought a tummy tuck was de bes’ way to get rid o’ de extra flesh – agen, jes’ like we yoomans. She was so please wid results dat she broadcas’ all over Facebook how de operation had de dog lookin’ “like a young man agen as it tek years off”.  
Anethuh woman had a Doberman, but de ears din straight enough to suit she, so de animal had to undergo a 30-minute operation to get mesh ear implants to gi’e a mo’ upright look.
Dah story remin’ muh o’ a frien’ dat once had a beautiful German Shepherd, wid jes’ one li’l flaw – one ear din upright. Dat man try evahting possible to mek dat dog ear straight. Pity ’e din know ’bout mesh ear implants at dat time, but even so, $10 000 was outta he reach! De po’ dog would jes’ stan’ dey quiet, while he push all sorts o’ nonsense in ’e ear, to mek it straight! Years later, when de dog dead, ’e ear was still floppy.    
Sence readin’ dah story, de sayin’, “It’s a dog’s life”, really tek on new meanin’ fuh me! Looka hummuch vets mek in 2010. $2.5 million ’pon nose jobs an’ $1.6 million ’pon eye lif’s. Not bad a-tall!
Tek care o’ yuhself.Yuh frien’, Babsie.

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