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‘Guilty’ spouse may well be innocent

shadiasimpson, [email protected]

‘Guilty’ spouse may well be innocent

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Dear Christine,
I HAVE SEEN LETTERS in your column on the signs of a cheating spouse. Allow me to offer a word of caution. The “guilty” husband or wife could very well be innocent.
A year and a half ago, I began working out at a nearby gym during my lunch hour. My wife and I were both overweight when I started my exercise programme. I ended up losing 25 pounds.
During this time, my wife was still gaining weight. When she complained about her weight, I tried to be supportive and reassured her she was still attractive to me, but said I was worried about her health.
 My wife knew I had the same concerns about my own health, and that’s why I was trying to get in shape. Once I started, I discovered I enjoyed my exercise routine, including the hour a day I had to myself. (I work a 40-hour week and spend every other available moment with my wife and children.)
After my weight came down, I needed new clothes and rewarded myself with a new wardrobe. Around the same time, I shaved off my beard and began sporting a new, shorter haircut that made me look years younger. I felt like a new man.
My wife became convinced I was having an affair and went out and had an affair of her own. Suddenly, she wanted to go “work out” or “go shopping” two or three evenings a week.
I eagerly volunteered to watch our boys so she could enjoy the time to herself. Little did I know she was going out to have sex with an old flame she met via Facebook.
I was devastated when I found out. She told me she thought the reason I had been so accommodating was because I was cheating, so she was fighting fire with fire.
We are now in the process of divorce.  The guy she was seeing is married with children – so now, two marriages are messed up. Please share my story with your readers.– J.P.
Dear J.P.,
Your story is a sad one, with a sad ending. It’s not always good to retaliate or to jump to conclusions. It is said that people who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.
Your experience proves that lack of communication can result in bad decisions and choices. I am convinced that many marriages that ended in divorce could have been saved if the parties had spent more time talking over their concerns or issues with reach other.
I am sure many will learn from your experience. Thanks for sharing.– CHRISTINE