DEAR CHRISTINE: Why doesn’t he trust me?
I HAVE BEEN DATING this guy for about four months. I am in my mid-20s and he is in his early 30s. He is a man who believes in actions, not words. The situation is scaring me. I am made to feel that I have to prove I am faithful.
He thinks that all women are sneaks and liars. I have given him no reason to think that I am unfaithful or sneaking behind his back. I can’t feel comfortable until I have earned his trust.
Christine, I have been doing everything I can to show him that I can be trusted. I am always home when he calls; I’m always at work when he calls. I feel I show him by my actions that he is the only one I’m dating or paying attention to. We see each other five days a week. When we are not together, we talk on the telephone. When would I even have time for someone else?
I know it’s only been a short time and time helps, but I need some advice on what else I can do. I feel I’m fighting a losing battle and I want to win.
You have been dating this man for only four months but you are fighting a losing battle because if you win (him), you will constantly be trying to prove your faithfulness. Even marriage would not make him more trusting. It could even make him more suspicious and possessive.
You don’t need a relationship like this. Dump this suspicious character. Don’t give him more of your time and energy. He will sap you dry if you don’t. And consider this: no man would look under the bed unless he has hidden there himself.