BLABBERMOUT’ BABSIE: Troof mo’  strange dan fiction

Dear Nesta,
Girlchile, glad yuh still in de lan’ o’ de livin’. Ef it was ethuhwise, some well meanin’ soul woulda been sure to mek it duh bidness to leh muh know. Dis grapevine we got – local an’ overseas – could sniff out news, sometimes befo’ it even happen. Girl, it good. Anyhow, leh we keep praisin’ God fuh life an’ lef it at dat.
Ness, from wuh I see gine on, I got to believe dat troof mo’ strange dan fiction, faif. When I could open a paper an’ read dat a criminal facin’ 28 counks fuh t’iefin’ – de aut’orities call it “burglary”, same diff’rence as far as I concern – only get two – yes, two – years fuh all de wrong-doin’ he commit, wuh, I mus’ start believin’ dat pigs could fly. I en cay how sorry he say he is. “Sorry” wuh. Dah’s only ’cause he get ketch. I jes’ hope any ethuhs t’inkin’ ‘bout followin’ in he footsteps, don’ get de wrong impression duh could brek-in hones’ people houses, turn ’roun’ an’ say “sorry”, an’ get off easy like he. Yuh mean, we victims en got nuh rights a-tall?   
You remember my tellin’ you ‘bout de scare Philomena young cousin had when she apartment an’ four ethuhs get brek-in de ethuh day? Well, las’ week she phone muh wid some news, dat ef I din know diff’rent, I woulda swear she was drinkin’. She had a visit from de police an’ guess who was in de van?  De very same man dat brek-in she bedroom dat night an’ t’ief she money. De police was bringin’ ’e ’roun’ so he could p’int out de various apartments, show how he get in, an’ say “sorry” to ’e victims. She was very upset, feelin’ – an’ rightly so – dat she get place in a position whey dat man know exackly who she is – an’ it en help bring back she money, anyhow.
You could believe de man stannin’ befo’ de magistrate few days ago to answer to dem 28 counks fuh t’efin’, is de same one dat brek-in at she? Now, de way we onderstan’ prison sentences does run, befo’ yuh look ’roun’ twice, he back out ’pon de streets. De victims in dat apartment  buildin’ en please a-tall wid dah verdick. Can yuh blame dem?  
Philomena explain sentences run “concurrent” an’ not “consecutive”. Dat coulda wuk long ago, when de majority o’ Bajans – includin’ even would-be criminals – still had some “heart” towards duh fellow man, but in dese days dem laws en sayin’ a “pang”. Some criminals need “consecutive” sentences to gi’e dem enough time to relax an’ ponder long an’ hard ’pon duh wrongdoin’. Ole habits die hard, y’know, an’
I won’ be surprise ef some don’ get right back into de “swing o’ t’ings” when duh get out.
It en no wonder criminals gettin’ mo’ an’ mo’ bol’ an’ hones’ hard-wukkin’ Bajans gettin’ mo’ an’ mo’ friten, an’ hidin’-way duhselves in houses wid mo’ wrought iron an’ bolts ’pon winders an’ doors, dan John read ’bout. Sence dat ethuh brute try to brek-in at me, I now got summuch bolts an’ locks dat I muhself, might en’ up wid problems ef I had to rush out.
I jes’ hear dis man get a furthuh two years ethuh crimes. Wuh happen?  “Two” is he lucky number? Lord, we gine t’rough some fritenin’ times.
    
Tek care o’ yuhself.
Yuh frien’, Babsie.