HAVE?YOU EVER ASKED YOURSELF why it is sometimes so hard to get along with your mother or why your husband gets you angry or why your son knows how to get on your last nerve? Have you ever wondered why, after so many years of developing these relationships, you still quarrel and argue?
Many, if not most, would say it’s because we are all humans and we have different personalities and eventually those personalities will clash. This may be true, but today I want to introduce another reason: motion.
Motion causes friction and stress but is necessary for growth, development and pleasure.
There are a few things in life that wouldn’t bother us if they were stagnant or motionless. However, there are many things we enjoy because of their motion.
Take, for instance, your bank account. If there is one thing we all desire to see growing and in motion, it is our bank accounts. If our account is stagnant, we become a bit down, but once the money is accumulating consistently we are quite pleased. This motion of growth causes friction or discomfort due to budgeting and doing without certain luxuries, but the end result is growth and a sense of accomplishment.
If you have a vehicle, I am sure you enjoy the comfort of travelling in it. As long as that vehicle is in motion, I am sure it will generate some friction. This friction will come in the form of expenses due to purchasing gas and oil, changing shocks and tyres and paying insurance and road tax. What value is that vehicle to you if it never moves? Once it is in motion, there will be friction but it’s all for the comfort.
When you were in primary school, you went through much stress to prepare for the Common Entrance Examination. At that time, it was one of the most stressful times in your life until you went to secondary school and realized that the stress you experienced at primary level was nothing compared with preparing for CXCs at secondary level.
When you went on to tertiary education, the stress from secondary school was nothing compared with what you then had to face at the higher level. The stress at each level was necessary for the development of your brain as it prepared for the next step. As you moved through your educational development, you faced stress but that was necessary for success.
What would sexual intimacy be without motion? Imagine a married couple wanting to express their love and passion sexually and both of them lie motionless. It would be futile. As the saying goes, “It’s not the size of the boat; it’s the motion in the ocean”. It’s the motion that generates most of the pleasure and to reach the climax of that pleasure even more motion might be needed, but with that motion comes some friction.
This theory can be applied to relationships also. My pastor has a saying I love: “If iron is to sharpen iron, sparks have to fly.” Those sparks are the result of friction. All relationships face trials but once they are handled correctly and overcome, more often than not the result is the development of a stronger relationship, peaceful hearts and two smiling faces.
In every hurt, disappointment, issue and trial in a relationship there is always an area for growth and a lesson to be learnt. When sparks fly, they can do two things, destroy or build. Direct those sparks to the fire that brings warmth to the relationship.
Motion causes friction but unattended friction causes decay and destruction. The simplest way to deal with friction is with a lubricant. With the bank account, treating yourself to a luxury can be the lubricant used. With the car, taking the bus, carpooling or walking can be the lubricant used. With education, taking some time to rest and relax can be the lubricant. Well, sex speaks for itself; there are natural and unnatural lubricants.
In relationships, let love, forgiveness, selflessness and good communication be your lubricants.
Corey Worrell is a former Commonwealth Youth Ambassador. Email [email protected]