DE MARKET VENDOR: Survival tips for dese rough times
Dese days it is back to basics cause moaning and groaning gine only give the Government sore nipples, and Lord protect me from such a fate. Dis Vendor would prefer nipples not to be sore at any time!
De truth is dat if it were Esther or Irene dat had complain to we de people about sore nipples instead of de PM, dis Vendor woulda had a better image of de challenges facing Government.
If Government nipples was sore then, imagine wuh dem nipples gine be like in dese hard times! As I tell wunnah a few articles ago, I intend to swim, not drown in dis period of prolonged economic misery. Some people find solutions at de end of a rope, but only somebody who went over de mental cliff could tek dat route. Father, protect me from any kind of cliff, mental, fiscal or otherwise!
Today is time for some practical solutions to problems – how to survive in tough times while waiting fuh better to come.
If bus fare and gas gine up, introduce yuself to a Raleigh or Hercules (duh does still have dem brands, though?) bicycle. Start riding to work; yuh gine kill two birds wid one stone – exercise and transport cost. Back in de ’70s during de oil crisis, nuff people start riding bicycles.
Iffing yuh got a motor car but can’t afford to buy gas, consider getting rid of de car and buying a motorcycle. Years ago dis Vendor sell de ole car I had and step down to a motorbike. I could tell yuh dat de motorbike used to carry a wife dat did pregnant, a baby, and de groceries upfront. I might get charge fuh reckless endangerment today but it can be done; go to Guyana or Cuba and learn ’bout maximizing transport!
Introduce youself to Cheapside market pun weekends. Everything dat yuh need under de sun, most times cheaper than supermarket prices. Park in BTII car park right behind de market and experience de joy of buying produce from vendors like me. At de entrance to de back Coral and son Michael is my base. I does left all me things there as I purchase and when I done, Michael gine come out to de car I getting a lift in and put dem in de trunk, just like at de supermarket, and he would do de same fuh you.
Meet Vincies, Lucians, Guyanese, Dominicans selling everything from food to spices and condiments. I does get my coconut oil, de new wonder cooking oil, at less than half de price at de supermarket, plus my honey, shark and whale oil and de sweetest root produce under de sun, dasheen!
I don’t want all ah wunnah rushing down there at de same time and messing up thing fuh me. De meat section air-conditioned and Mr Forde and children does mek sure I get de best cuts.
Light bills? Start changing out all bulbs to LEDs. Yes, I know dem cost nuff but mek a start. Learn to cook and carry a meal to work – yuh licking out money dat could be saving. Wait fuh sales. Last week Polo in Limegrove had 60 per cent off; I still couldn’t buy but yuh get de point!
Check de NATION Classifieds, bargains galore! Reduce water bills, share a bath, don’t leave de tap running when yuh using de basin. Ole people could be consultants pun dese things, dem know hard times! We gine hole back pun de coal pot fuh now but start collecting de coals, just in case!
• I, Market Vendor, gone fuh now. You have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?