DEAR CHRISTINE: Leave the woman’s man alone!
Please hear me out. I have been in a loveless marriage for 17 years. Five years ago, I fell in love with a wonderful (but married) man.
We shared a passionate, fantastic and totally secret relationship until four months ago when his wife found out about us.
Unfortunately, instead of kicking him out, she decided to forgive him.
He had led me to believe that our love was forever and he could not live without me. Now he tells me he realizes he still loves his wife, will not leave her and that our relationship is over.
I will not accept this. I must live my life with him. I am unable to give him up. I’ll do anything to get him away from his wife, but I’m running out of ideas. Do you have any?
I am not sure whether to title your letter the joke of the day or see it simply as a prank, the kind one child plays on the other. Are you seriously asking me to give you ideas on how to get this man away from his wife after he has already made it clear to you that he wants to be with her and the relationship between you two is over?
In any case, over or not, I could never encourage you to “do anything to get him away from his wife”.
In fact, the only reason I am printing and answering your letter is in the hope that you’ll stop living in a dream world and face reality.
Get over the fact that the honeymoon is over and stop confusing love with obsession, and sex with love. In pursuing this man you are facing a heartache of a much greater magnitude, not to mention more humiliation and disgrace than you have suffered so far.
You already have a husband. Concentrate on him and leave the other woman’s husband alone. Maybe when you do, you’ll have a successful marriage.