I CONFESS: Still some God-fearing men out there
My present relationship is proof that there are still some decent God-fearing men around.
The man that I have come to respect, admire and love is married, while I am single, unemployed and available. Yet, he has never once tried to take advantage of my need for his financial support to be intimate with me.
He just helps me and my family in a very friendly manner from, I suspect, mostly his personal funds, and has been doing so for four months.
He also speaks to me about God and advises what I can do to turn my life around. But he has never pushed me to attend his church, though that is an option he has left open. Instead, he tells me I can go to the church of my choice for fellowship, as long as I seek to make my life right with the Lord.
And when he discusses the scriptures it is never the judgmental viewpoints I heard when I went to church, like God doesn’t like people who fornicate. This man explained to me that God loves everybody – He just does not like our sin. That was a revelation for me and actually makes me think there may be hope for me to get into heaven after all.
It is not easy to believe that God would love you and would forgive your sins if you lived the type of life that I have. I have five children from four different men, so you would understand what I mean.
Though I never set out to have children from different men, that is how it turned out. I was in love with each of them, and all of them, one after the other, disappointed or abused me. So I had it rough.
After going through this over and over again, you become numb and don’t believe in love anymore – from man or God.
So this man coming into my life purely by accident was a godsend. He just saw me with two of my children at the bus stop one day and stopped to give me a lift. My littlest was crying, saying how hungry she was. He heard and began asking me questions, so I admitted that we were all hungry as I had no more money, and was going to the Welfare Department to see if I could get a food voucher. But I told him as I did not have an appointment there, I wasn’t sure that I would be seen and given help.
This man turned his car around and took me to a supermarket and told me I could spend $250. I couldn’t believe it.
As my children and I were hungry, I just got the food, but kept saying to myself if he was doing this so he could live with me that I was not going to do anything as I was done with men.
So he took me home and said he would see me in two weeks. So said, so done. This time he turned up with two other people from his church and they went through the old house looking at the amount of repairs that needed to be done.
When I was working I was trying to do the repairs as I got the house after my aunt, who raised me, died. But with no job, and after not being able to get one for nearly a year now, I had to concentrate on basics – paying the light and water, and of course, food.
So far they have done a few repairs, but mostly they have helped me to get a few jobs cleaning and pressing clothes mostly from people in the church. It is not a lot of money, but it is a hundred times better than earning nothing at all, and having to wait on handouts, so I am grateful for the help.
Honestly, this is the first time any man or anybody for that matter, has been this kind to me. Every man I knew whoever gave me anything wanted something in return.
But not these people. That is why I had to talk about this experience. There are still good men out there, and I have been fortunate to meet one. I truly believe now that though the Lord doesn’t come himself, he sends help.