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DE MARKET VENDOR: I want de same benefits as Sandals

BEA DOTTIN, [email protected]

DE MARKET VENDOR: I want de same benefits as Sandals

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Two weeks in a row we had big news from Government. Chris, under pressure wid no confidence, pull a master stroke and announce that not one but two Sandals brands coming to Bubbadus and at de stroke of a pen, he do what de Bees didn’t do fuh years ­– get Butch Stewart to finally put up de Sandals brands in Bubbadus.
In golfing terms dat was a hole in one, an eagle shot dat men like Tiger Woods and James Johnson (sorry ’bout de company, James) does play.
And just a few days later another big announcement – de much delayed Four Seasons project will be sold and new owners gine get de project going.
Another eagle shot, straight down de fairway from Chris. Wuh loss, two Sandals and a Four Seasons to boot?
And at de end of de past week we get news ’bout how de deal get seal wid Sandals. Talk ’bout sweet; it got in so much sweetness I likely to get diabetes.
Twenty-five years’ tax holiday, and when dat done, another 15 years paying only 50 per cent of de taxes. Apparently everything Sandals wanted, Sandals got ­– no taxes of any kind, no duties of any kind, no VAT of any kind fuh 25 years, and then another 15 years at half sweetness. Nuh duties pun food, beverages, nothing at all!
De Vendor want a job at Sandals.
I want a motor car duty-free, preferably a Range Rover so I could help drive de rich and famous ’bout de place. I got a weakness fuh sweetness.
Understand me carefully, de economy in a tailspin, people calling fuh action, businesses closing left and right, spending down, Christmas might get postpone. What is a Minister of Finance to do? He must become a minister of large-ants, not fine-ones, so he pull out de stops and, yes, he pelt everything at it cause he know dat if he land Butch, he do wha de rest did not do and he tek de heat off he back.
A man got to do what a man got to do!
I feel sorry fuh Couples resort. Dem just open what was Casuarina and just a few weeks after de opening come de closing. Dese days things brown in relationships and couples breaking up, just like de resort.
And before de criticism come, I want to say dat Chris set de bar real high. I believe dat he want dis thing to work so rather than call Brass Tacks every day and be an armchair expert ’pun everything under de sun, I planning fuh action.
My plan simple: we need to get Bubbadus moving again. I see Bizzy got he own electric company in Warrens and he gine be travelling wid a Leaf. Watch he carefully, Shelly, I only hope it is a plantain leaf and not a cheery!
So my plan: we forming a new resort at home and gine ask Chris fuh de same benefits as Sandals – 40 years tax-free. I looking fuh investors – Bizzy, Sir COW, my friend Dennis (he like to fly below de radar), Peter Harris, Aubrey Choy and assorted other entrepreneurs; we gine create an instant resort, Slippers!
Slippers can be up an’ running like tomorrow. We gine grab all de properties dat got up fuh sale and fuh rent signs pun de West Coast, enter a lease agreement wid de owners and populate them under a banner called Slippers Resorts! Parent company – Really Intimate People, RIP!
We want de same deal as Sandals.
I, Market Vendor, gone fuh now. You have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?