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Should I pay for my daughter’s wedding?

rhondathompson, [email protected]

Should I pay for my daughter’s wedding?

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Dear Christine,
I have never written to you before, but just wanted your opinion on a matter that is causing me some concern. I guess it is a case of wanting to know what’s the correct wedding ettiquette. I am not so sure how it goes.
Our 26-year-old daughter [the youngest of two] is engaged to be married late next year. She has been living with her fiancé
for the past six years and wants to have a traditional wedding with a wedding gown, tuxedo and reception for 110 people.
I dare not mention where she wants to host the reception, but the wedding will cost in the region of $35 000 or possibly more.
She and her fiance make about $60 000 a year together. My husband and I make less.
Should I offer to pay for my daughter’s wedding? If you say yes, I will accept that I should. If you say no, I will quit torturing myself.
– Mother of the Bride
Dear Mother Of The Bride,
Quit torturing yourself and make no offers whatsoever. If your daughter has been living with her boyfriend for those many years, she should not expect her parents to foot the bill for a wedding.
As it stands right now, it’s better for you to wait and see what contribution she would like you to make.