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BLABBERMOUT BABSIE: De good, de bad an’ red herrin’s!

BEA DOTTIN, [email protected]

BLABBERMOUT BABSIE: De good, de bad an’ red herrin’s!

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Dear Nesta,
A bright star light up de gloomy skies o’ de islan’ las’ week, when it get announce at de Amurican Music Awards dat Rihanna would be de very firs’ body in de entertainment fiel’ to get de Icon Award! Outta all dem ethuh entertainers, de li’l Bajan girl from Wes’bury Road get pick fuh dis honour. Philomena swear bline dat de star dah young lady born onder does only come once in a lifetime so I only hope de Minstry o’ Culture gine mek de mos’ o’ dis onexpected plum dat drop in duh lap!
My TV was “ackin’ up” dah night, an’ rather dan my endin’ up wid cross eyes an’ a blindin’ headache, tryin’ to mek out wuh was happenin’, I turn it off. So it did my bad luck to miss de whole show.  I en see one bless-ed t’ing when it come to Rihanna gettin’ de award. Philomena t’ought dah was a “boss” idea, doh, to leh Rihanna mother do de presentin’ – bofe mother an’ daughter had she feelin’ proud!
Knowin’ how de Amurican TV stations would be goin’ on an’ on ‘bout de Awards nex’ day – ‘til yuh feel yuh wanta scream – I was sure I woulda been able to see Rihanna ’pon one o’ de channels. You could believe dat I din hear nor see neffin a-tall ’bout she an’ de award? It did all ’bout Taylor Swif’ dis, or Katy Perry dat an’ ethuh names I cyhan even remember –  only Amuricans. But Rihanna? Neffin! Wuh dah should tell yuh ‘bout dem people? Yuh en one o’ dem, so de int’res’ en dey, Icon Award or not. Remember how we never used to see much o’ de Olympic Games neithuh, ‘til de Caribbean arrange fuh duh own station?
Philomena tell muh de news o’ Rihanna winnin’ dis big award really help to raise she spirits. She always nerviss to see wuh gine hit we nex’, when she open she mornin’ papers – an’ mos’ times it depressin’. She en wrong. Up to few mornin’s ago, once agen, de papers had a story o’ yet anethuh young woman sufferin’ from stab woun’s an’ havin’ to go to de horspittle. Why it so hard fuh men to onderstan’ dat women got de right to say “yes” or “no”. Lord, leh dem laws ‘gains’ domestic abuse come soon!
‘Pon anethuh subjeck, doh. Yuh surely mus’ know dat in recent years we been only gettin’ de “t’umbs down” from de big-up international organizations fuh we po’ financial showin’– gine right down to junk bon’ status! Well, las’ week in Parliament de PM – mos’ly a very peaceful man, jes’ dey, not gettin’ in anybody bizness – come out wid guns blazin’ over de word “junk”.
Now I only went to Brumley but I refuse to accep’ dat Standard & Poor’s call Bajan nationals “junk” – it is we financial status duh referrin’ to. Ethuh countries reach junk bon’ status too an’ it don’ mean de nationals is “junk”.  So I ax muhself, why would de PM – a mos’ learn-ed man when it come to de English language – want Bajans to reach dis conclusion?        
Well, e’ words hit de mark wid Philomena, mekkin’ muh realize de type o’ idiot she is! Dat woman start quarrellin’ ‘bout de nerve o’ Standard & Poor’s, callin’ we “junk” jes’ to mek we feel bad ’bout weselves. She was all fuh sendin’ a strong letter to dat organization, demandin’ an apology! I had to cool she down an’ p’int out she shun leh “red herrin’s” like dis get in de way an’ tek she attention offa de true facks o’ wuh we really goin’ t’rough.  
When Philomena realize she was only a fool, she shut up an’ went ’long home. 
Words an’ duh meanin’s!
Tek care o’ yuhself.
Yuh frien’, Babsie.