I BELIEVE A LOT of bad things happen to people in their relationships because they don’t talk about what they’re going through until everything has broken down. And then it’s too late.
I say this based on what I went through with my husband. Had I realized the power of speaking out from the time I noticed something was not right, I may never have ended up going through the horrors I did.
I know some people may think that to talk about every little thing makes it seem you are miserable, but that’s not so. It’s not what you do but how you do it.
The horrible thing my husband did was to bring a woman into our house and have sex with her in my bed. Can you imagine that? How wicked can any man be?
He was able to do this because I had a real bad pregnancy and had to stay with my sister. I developed gestational diabetes, my feet were swollen, and I had such serious back pains that I was confined to bed.
My husband used this period to get friendly with a young woman who lived in the neighbourhood. So by the time I was ready to return home with our child, she had turned my once pleasant, thoughtful husband into a totally different person.
And that is what I mean about speaking up when you first notice things and help to nip problems in the bud.
When I was by my sister, his twice-a-day visits dwindled to every two days for just a few minutes, and one phone call a day. I thought it strange but didn’t say anything. My sister became suspicious even before I did, but I dismissed her negativity. But she proved to be right.
I tried to talk to him about why he seemed so distant but all he would say was that he was under pressure at work. So I took him at his word.
After I found out that he was indeed involved with this girl, he hurt my feelings by telling me she made him feel better than I ever did. He even went so far as to tell me the only thing he regretted in his life was that we had married. Can you imagine that?
That statement cut me like a knife. It hurt me to the core. I still cry every time I remember he said that to me because he was involved with a woman that he knows had a lot of men.
Didn’t even look at me
And I’m not saying so because I hate her. I know for a fact that my husband only got involved with this woman after hearing about her from other men in the district. Whatever he heard encouraged him to go after her.
From what I heard, and from what I got from him, this woman apparently does all kinds of things in bed.
My husband was so taken with this woman that for six or seven months after I returned home, he did not even look at me. I mean the man did not even touch me though I would come out of the shower naked and tell him straight I wanted him.
Imagine, I was a good faithful wife and he went with a “loose” woman.
My husband also disrespected me by putting her in his car when he saw her on the road or at the bus stop, though I would be in the car. And she had the gall to get in the front, as I was in the back with our child, and began talking to him as if I was not there. When I told him to teach her manners, they looked at each other and laughed. I felt so humiliated.
I don’t know how a man could turn into such a foolish person. I still can’t understand too, how any man with a conscience could carry on openly with another woman when he has a devoted wife and child at home. And despite my pleadings, he continued.
Then, he finally moved out. Now he is asking me to pay him out for his portion of the house or sell the property to him.
I still can’t understand how he could do this to me after six years together.
I once confronted him about why he had to take up with her and all he did was babble about the pleasure he got with her. He is so smitten with her that he can no longer think straight.
Given what I went through, I would warn other women to try to improve their communication with their partner because you could be living happily and then somebody could come along and take your husband from you.
Any woman who takes up with someone else’s husband and destroys their marriage and family is no good. It is wicked, and women who do this are going to burn in hell when the good Lord comes.
