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DEAR CHRISTINE: Deadbeat dads have a lot to answer for

marciadottin, [email protected]

DEAR CHRISTINE: Deadbeat dads have a lot to answer for

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Dear Christine,
I am writing in response to the letter which appeared in your column on Monday.
As a grandfather whose daughter has gone through a similar situation, I read with much hurt about that young lady whose “child’s father” refuses to support his child.
I would advise her to go back to court. Obviously the magistrate would listen to her case and determine what the next step should be. Surely arrangements can be made for monies to be deducted from his salary/wages.
Fathers who do not support their children do not understand the emotional hurt they are inflicting on them.
Christine, my grandson is now 15 months old. Since he is our only grandson, both mummy and I dote on him. He has never lacked for anything.
That, however, seemed to have nullified his father’s obligations to his son. He was always talking about financial problems he was having, yet he could be seen drinking almost every weekend.
My daughter could not take it anymore and so she put him in court. He now has to pay $60 every week. Yes, she is gainfully employed and both her mother and I work.
Would you believe that even though my daughter complained to his mother about the lack of support, she never did anything about it? All along our grandson still visited her.
Since my daughter has put the father in court, his paternal grandmother and others have stopped speaking to us. Her son even threatened my daughter, saying if he sees any man holding his son he would shoot her.
Of course, I could not let that go, so he was warned by the police. Now his family seems to think the worst of me.
I just trust that girl has supportive parents or friends. That child will grow up some day.
– S.E.
Dear S.E.,
Thanks so much for sharing with readers your own experiences and those of your daughter.
I just wish that fathers who refuse to support their offspring would recognise that the children are the ones who suffer the most and that someday these children will become men and women. What legacy would their fathers have left for them?
It pains me also that these children grow up feeling unloved.
These men need to wise up and take their responsibility as fathers seriously.
Having said that, let me also say that two wrongs do not make a right. Men are not always the culprits.
There are mothers who sometimes refuse to allow the children to have any contact with the fathers unless they pay up. That’s not right either.