Dear Christine, I never thought I would write to you in an effort to rid myself of dead weight and emotional pain.
I have read other people’s experiences and you gave them good advice. Perhaps I too will get help after sharing my experience.
A few years ago I met a woman who said she was not involved with anyone. Neither was I. We developed a friendship and later, a relationship. We saw each other almost daily. Then we got married.
As our relationship developed, I discovered she was still having sex with former boyfriends. The shocker came when I found out she sells her body. A few people told me about this, but I did not want to believe them.
While she is very discreet and professional about what she does, I found out from a very reliable source. I also learnt that when men compliment her on her looks, she gives them her phone numbers.
When I confronted her about her doings, she gets aggressive and tells me some of the most hurtful things; like she will give her body to whomever she likes, and if she were to lose her part-time job, she “will sell” her body. She seems to have no fear of AIDS or any other sickness.
Christine, I am so scared of having sex with my wife that sometimes I put on a condom without her knowing. [At times] we sleep like strangers. We do not touch or kiss each other like before. I have never been involved with anyone since I met her, but now I am thinking about meeting someone else before she brings home something (like death).
I know you and everyone will advise me to get out and away from her. But how can I, if I don’t have any options? I am in a dangerous situation just by knowing her. She gives in to almost every man who lusts after her. (An old lady once told me I am not safe.)
I recently received a voice message, in which I heard my wife groaning as though she was having sex. The man with her was telling her how sweet she is. I have [literally] had dreams of her having sex with other men.
This, too, is affecting my health. Doctors have told me I should be dead because my blood pressure has been as high as 190 over 120. My wife seems to like what she’s doing. She opens her legs to everyone who passes by, thereby multiplying her “whoredom”.
She has become a woman who takes strangers instead of her husband. Her self-esteem is so low, she glories in compliments. I have been forced to withdraw from touching or approaching her, so we continue to live together and talk to each other even though we know everything is not all right.
Christine, I hope to meet someone who will be faithful and love me just as I love them back. I will not take up any more of your valuable time and space. I thank you for the opportunity to share what I am going through with you and others.
It was another way to ease the head and heart from hurting, rather than taking all the tablets. I am so ashamed to call this woman my wife.
– A HURTING HUSBAND
Dear A Hurting Husband, You need to take the advice you know that I and other persons will give. Simply put, leave this woman alone.
What kind of man will put up with this kind of behaviour within his marriage? Why do you say you have “no option” but to stay within this “so-called” marriage? What hold does this woman have on you?
You also need to stop entertaining the thought of starting another relationship while you’re still married. This will only add fuel to the flame, and won’t be fair to the other person. If what you’ve shared is true, you have all the legal rights to get a divorce. Starting the proceedings without further delay!
Good looks and a good body are not good enough reasons for you to stay in a loveless marriage which smacks of disrespect on your wife’s part. Your health is in danger – one way or the other. You have this option either get out or continue to court death. The choice is yours.
– CHRISTINE
