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DEAR CHRISTINE: How to identify an abuser

marciadottin, [email protected]

DEAR CHRISTINE: How to identify an abuser

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Dear Christine,
I’D like to share some tips that I recently came across with you. I hope they will make women more aware of how to spot a potential abuser or recognise the signs of an abuser. Here goes:
1. A push for quick involvement: comes on very strong, claiming, “I’ve never felt loved like this by anyone”.
2. Jealousy: excessively possessive; calls constantly or visits unexpectedly.
3. Controlling: Interrogates you intensely about who you talked to, and where you were; wants to control your money and insists you ask permission to go anywhere or do anything.
4. Unrealistic expectations: expects you to be the perfect woman and meet his every need.
5. Isolation: tries to cut you off from family and friends.
6.  Makes everyone else responsible for his feelings: The abuser says, “you make me angry” instead of “I am angry”.
7. Hypersensitivity: is easily insulted.
8. Cruelty to animals and children: kills or punishes animals brutally and expects children to do things beyond their ability.
9. Intense: “Playful”
use of force during sex.
11. Verbal abuse: constantly criticises you, or says cruel, hurtful things.
12. Rigid sex roles: expects you to serve and obey him.
13. Sudden mood swings: switches from loving to explosively violent in minutes.
14. Past battering: admits hitting women in the past, but says they made him do it.
15. Threats of violence: makes statements like, “I’ll break your neck” or “I’ll kill you”.
– A.M.
Dear A.M.,
Thanks for sharing.