SO THE OTHER MORNING, I lying down in my bed dreading getting up and gine to the salt mines (that is what I does call my work place), when all of a sudden the bed start to shake.
Well, I thought it was my neighbour who fall down and shake the district again, cause he put on quite a bit of weight recently.
Anyhow, the shaking get a li’l harder and I jump up frighten as tail. Now I only look so, but I is a big frighten man.
You see, two months ago, I thought I was catching a heart attack, so I run and see the heart specialist, and lung doctors and some more doctor people, and had some tests done.
Everything was good, but still the slightest li’l thing does got me jittery, so when the shaking get li’l harder I thought it was my body shaking and’t tell no lie, I was so frighten I had to go to the bathroom cause I had a instant bowel movement.
It turned out that we had a earth tremor, but you see these li’l earthquakes we having, them warming up for something big, you mark my word, hopefully that wouldn’t be for the next couple thousand years when I gone from ’bout here.
A good cut-tail in de Square
On a different note, so we had two British people, a man and woman couple, ’bout here staying up in the posh Sandy Lane area. I hear even the wind up in them rich places does blow different and the mice up Sandy Lane does wear fur coats and drive Mercedes.
Anyhow, these two people get and say, how two armed robbers, break in them villa, assaulted them and thief over $35 million in jewellery and other things.
When police do them own investigating, the people admit them was telling lies, consequently them was charged for wasting police time and later sentenced to bout nine months in prison.
I vex, nine months is how long a woman does carry a baby for, that is too short for them. Somebody ask me what I wouldda do with them and my reply was to give them life imprisonment and a public flogging.
That is, shut off Broad Street for half day, set up a stage in Trafalgar Square (give them a “British” atmosphere), and then unleash some blows with a tamarind rod in them backside, my mother could administer the blows, in her day she was quite adept in wielding tools of punishment, I speaketh from experience.
I think the charge should have been “financial terrorism”, and here is why.
When bold faced liars like them two say these things, the international press does pick up these stories and them does make front page news in them countries. That could hurt we tourism, which is how we does get foreign reserves.
Them overseas newspapers like to got headlines saying, Wealthy Brits Robbed in Paradise, and then when you read down in the story you does hear frightening things bout machete-brandishing natives, and how Barbados is a den of thieves.
So all of that would frighten anybody from coming bout here; that is financial terrorism.
Meanwhile, when the truth does come out, the story does be only two or three lines long and buried between the obituaries and a missing dog ad, that is if they even bother to put it in.
Anyhow, well done to the Bajan police, but them two shouldda had a good cut-tail. See ya.
Email: madderic@hotmail.com
