THE AL GILKES COLUMN: Getting too much junk mail
IS IT ONLY ME or do you all receive a lot of unwanted information that your “friends” deposit around the clock in your emails, on your BBM, your WhatsApp, Facebook page, Twitter, Instagram and any other social media?
For example, why would I want to see a photograph of a man lying on the street surrounded by the blood flowing from a bullet hole in his head and probably taken before he even took his final breath?
Similarly, why would I want to see the crushed, broken, unrecognisable body/bodies of the unfortunate victim/victims of a mass casualty accident in which one or more persons would have perished on the spot, in many cases even before the relatives of the deceased were made aware of the situation?
And why would I want to see home-made videos of young girls spinning their bottoms like windmills in order to win a prize for the one who dropped hers the worst in an online competition.
Similarly, why would I want to see photographs of very beautiful, well shaped and intelligent looking young women contorting their bodies to the extreme in salacious and provocative poses and positions that would probably cause a man of my age to suffer a heart attack?
Why, also, would I want to read letters too X-rated for Cupid to read on his programme but which are now the talk of the town on the House of Spartacus’ Dear Dominus. Letters like one that starts, “Dear Dominus, I am in love with a girl that doesn’t love me. OK let me start over. I am a girl and I think I am gay . . .”
Or another that goes, “Dear Dominus, Valentine’s Day is also my birthday, so I expect the extra effort from de man who supposed to be my man. This man that supposed to be my man don’t ever buy me nuttin and does hardly spend time with me anymore . . .”
Or the one that everybody talking about that starts with, “Dear Dominus, It seems like the better a girl look, the less common sense she got. I meet this one in Oistins a Friday night. Pretty little 19-year-old bird. By the end of the night I had she rope in, dropping home she and her best friend . . .”
Finally, why would I be interested in reading a corny joke like this one that arrived on my WhatsApp last week that went: An Israeli doctor says: “Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.”
A British doctor says: “That is nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.”
A Canadian doctor says: “In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.”
A Bajan doctor, not to be outdone, says: “You guys are way behind. We just took a man with no brain, made him Prime Minister, and now the whole country is looking for work.”
• Al Gilkes heads a public relations firm.