LOOKA LEW: Singing en’ fuh everybody
PLAIN AND SIMPLE, some people cannot sing, and that is all I got to say for this week. I gone! I said, I gone! so turn the page and read something else.
OK, so you saying I just can’t drop a statement like that, cause that is like wiping dog do-do on a doormat and walking away, that I have to stop and explain the statement. OK I will do that.
Now I did watching some karaoke on TV a few weeks ago, and it further confirmed my beliefs that some people just can’t sing, and furthermore some people shouldn’t even try, and further furthermore, some people should be arrested for singing in public.
Seriously, I hear a woman singing and she did sound like somebody trying to stuff a cat in a blender.
And then a fella sing or should I say butchered Frank Sinatra’s I Did It My Way, oh my gosh, if I was a police, all like now he would be in handcuffs for doing it his way.
Don’t get me wrong, I ain’t saying that if you can’t sing like Michael Jackson or Whitney Houston then you shouldn’t sing, cause I does hear people who though not the best singers in the world them could handle themselves; they could carry a tune, you could tolerate them.
But they have some people, that even if you had to put the tune in a bucket and tie it on their heads they still can’t get the tune carry. The song would be in one key but them singing in a cornbeef key. And you know what does kill me? It is these can’t-sing people who does always run for the microphone to sing in public.
I know I can’t sing so pretty, so I does keep my tail between my legs. But believe it or not, a lot of these can’t-sing people does be in the church.
Every church does got in at least one, and if you don’t know who the can’t-sing person in your church is, well chances are it is you.
Them does always got somebody at church who does be trying them best to outdo everybody, they must be heard. From the time they open them mouth, you does wonder who cutting grass, cause them does sound like a lawnmower that want repairing.
A woman was behind me singing one time, and I did feel like taking away the hymn book from her, giving her bus fare and telling her go home and don’t come back ti’l she bring a letter of apology.
I could not tell if the woman was singing, quarrelling, or complaining that her shoes was too tight. And then she hit a high note that wake up every dog in the district and give me earache for a week.
Then they have some who not only can’t sing but they can’t read neither, so everybody in the church would be singing the second verse of a hymn, but lo and behold, them reach the fourth verse already, with them voice up to all, out ‘o tune and singing wrong words, or you singing hymn 100, and them singing hymn 350.
Sometimes the hymn done, the organist done playing and them still singing, like them hymn book got in more words dan anybody else own.
Anyhow, one person I know who can really sing is we own Biggie Irie, he is in the finals of the Groovy Soca competition in Trinidad tonight, let us wish him the very best of luck. See ya.
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