DEAR CHRISTINE: Finding it hard to say ‘no’

Dear Christine,
I am beginning to get very worried over how I end up in things that I did not intend to happen in the first place.
I am talking about a few casual affairs I have had without any real love between me and the men I was involved with.
I do not consider myself a loose woman but it seems I don’t know how to say a firm enough no.
In my everyday life I also get caught up in more things than I can comfortably manage to do.
 Here again, I cannot say no. Is there any way I can do this without seeming unwilling?
– LJ
 
Dear LJ,
While willingness might be a compliment to you, you must try to be more careful in granting everyone his or her request.
The sooner you learn to say “no” on appropriate occasions, the happier you will be.
Many people have a difficult time using the word “no”, but sometimes that’s the word which will keep them out of trouble and away from regret.
As you grow older you will realise that you cannot please everyone. We all have only a certain amount of time and energy.
When we over-extend ourselves, some pledges made cannot be kept. This makes us feel lacking or resentful.
Don’t go along with any sexual involvement unless you really want to. Take a deep look inside and see what your heart is saying before making a move.
Ask yourself how you’ll feel after you’ve taken a particular course of action and how such an action would affect you as an individual. In other words, weigh the consequences of your actions before making a decision.
You’ll find it will not be so hard after all, when you say “no”.
– CHRISTINE