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DEAR CHRISTINE: Wife won’t make the first move


mialisafenty, [email protected]

DEAR CHRISTINE: Wife won’t make the first move

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Dear Christine, I have been married for 13 years and I am beginning to think my luck is running out.
I say this because I cannot discuss the matter with my wife who no longer seems interested in sex.
She’ll never make the first move and this makes me feel I am not really wanted. I dare not suggest anything new.
She won’t even allow me to turn on a light when we are together.
Please do not think that I am some sort of a sex maniac but I do feel that our marriage is in danger when I am beginning to feel I should not even bother to approach her.
I am writing to you because I feel that I am getting crossed and miserable, especially with the children.
I know that many women read your column and I am hoping my wife sees this letter and realises it as our problem. I am quite certain other women out there will always see themselves in light of this letter.
In the case of my wife, maybe when she sees it then we can get together and try to solve our problem.
– F.G.
 
Dear F.G.,
You need to discuss your situation with your wife and stop waiting for her to read about your problem in this column. Have you tried discussing it?
How do you know she’ll read it? Would she become violent or just ignore you if you were to bring up the subject to which you refer?
You are going to have to let her know how you feel.
Prepare yourself then to hear how she feels and why she feels the way she does. Your problem is not just your problem, it is situation both you and your wife are facing and there is no magic in getting it fixed.
Sexual indifference or outright refusal is usually a weapon some wives use when things are not right between them and their husbands. On the other hand, they may also find it difficult to put into words the things that bother them.
When you do tackle this problem, prepare yourself for what she has to say. You probably won’t like some of the things you’ll hear, but you would have brought the problem out into the open and have a fairly good chance of making your love life exciting again.
The key word in your situation is communicate. Best of luck!
– CHRISTINE

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