DEAR CHRISTINE: Children’s dad not doing his part
MY HEART IS HEAVY as I write this letter. I am hurting because after giving so much of myself, I feel betrayed and a bit at a loss as to why I am going through what I am going through. However, I am giving God thanks for life.
Here is my issue: My boyfriend of seven years, who is the father of my three children, has suddenly stopped supporting them because he met a married woman who he says he has fallen in love with.
This woman has two children – one of them is the same age as one of our children. He told me she has made it clear that he must wine and dine her and give her whatever she wants if he wants to be with her. On top of all that, he supports her children.
Christine, how can he do that? How can he support somebody else’s children and leave out his own flesh and blood? The unbelievable thing is that this woman works and her husband also has a good job. Why would she want to rob innocent children of what is rightfully theirs? I do not understand how a woman can do this to another woman and to her young children?
I am currently unemployed, so my children and I are very dependent on what their father gives us, even though he does not give us money every week.
Dear Christine, please tell me what I need to do to talk some sense into this man. I am deeply hurt and upset right now.
I am as annoyed as you are that a woman, and one who is married with a job and children of her own, would do this to another woman, who is barely managing to take care of herself and her children.
This callous attitude is a sign of indifference, lack of love and disrespect.
Now let me turn my attention to the father of your children. His behaviour is so much worse than this woman’s. As a father of three young children, he should ensure they are adequately taken care of.
When you meet men with such hardened hearts, there is nothing else to do but stop depending on them and try to work for yourself and your children. Someday he will answer to these children.
Trust me! You still have the law on your side since the father of your children can be instructed to support them.
However, this can sometimes be a disadvantage, since men like him will pay the children support and not offer another cent. Since he is already heartless, he may even ignore the law or get lost away so as not to pay child maintenance.
Here’s the best advice: Things may be hard but try to get a job. Also, make sure you know what you are doing before bringing more children into the world.