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DEAR CHRISTINE: Teen daughter buying friends


marciadottin, [email protected]

DEAR CHRISTINE: Teen daughter buying friends

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Dear Christine,
My husband and I have been divorced for three years and we have joint custody of our 17-year-old daughter, who has a huge allowance compared to what most children her age have.
Since both my ex-husband and I have good incomes, and since she is an only child, we have tried to be as generous as possible.
Her father also allowed her to open a charge account that he would be responsible for. I would not have done that, perhaps because I know how tempting a charge account can be. Since he and I do not communicate, there was nothing I could do.
Recently, his secretary called and told me my daughter had run up an incredible bill. It turns out that she is buying for all her friends. Whatever they need, she provides.
When I spoke to her about this, she laughed and said that if she did not have as large an allowance and a free rein with her father’s money, she would not have any friends at all.
I cannot tell you how sad and frightened I was when I heard her say this. I believe she really thinks it is true. If it is, what are we coming to? What should I do?
I am now afraid to suggest that her father cut off the charge account.
– OR
 
Dear OR,
I do not know if your daughter is receiving any kind of therapy, but if she is not, I believe she should be. What you have described is a cry for help.
Your daughter is telling you that she feels worthless. She has no self-esteem and if she did not purchase or buy friends, no one would love her or be interested in her.
She needs love, understanding and professional help.
– CHRISTINE

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