DEAR CHRISTINE: Should I wait around for him?
I have been seeing a man for the past five years and we have one child.
He does not really have very much time to spend with us as he also has a wife and four children. He has to take the children to school and the wife to work. In the afternoon after picking them up from school and work, he has to take them either to dancing lessons, extra lessons or sometimes friends are visiting.
At first this never used to bother me, but now I realise that all I do is wait for him; sometimes I wait in vain.
I live with my mother and what he gives me for the child is sufficient to feed us, but I am lonely and bored most of the time. I wonder if I should try to find a job – even though I know jobs are not easy to come by. He said he would prefer if I did not work but our child is no longer an infant who requires my care all day long.
What do you think?
The question is not what do I think, but what do you think? Do you think this man will always be around to support you, financially or otherwise? Wouldn’t it be better if you were independent so you could help yourself and your child and not wait around for this man to support you? Do you think you should let him determine whether or not you find employment?
What he gives you might be sufficient to feed you but man does not live by bread alone. If I were you, I would start looking for that job. It will provide you with the opportunity of meeting other people – perhaps even a significant other.
I’m sure you’ll agree with me that your child deserves a full-time father as well as you deserve a man who is really your own and not just someone who drops in for a merry moment or two.
One other question: have you ever wondered what it would be like if you were to put yourself in the wife’s place? Umph!