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DEAR CHRISTINE: He changed after I got pregnant

marciadottin, [email protected]

DEAR CHRISTINE: He changed after I got pregnant

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Dear Christine,
I WAS living with a man for the past six years.
For most of that time we were happy, then, when I got pregnant, he started running around with a girl that he works with.
She tells him that I telephone her and tells her all kinds of bad things. Christine, that is not true because I hardly used to see him. It hurts me to see what is happening.
Christine, I do not go anywhere without him. I do not go around with other men or even talk to them in any romantic manner because that is not my style.
I really love this man although he is doing me all those things.
Sometimes he leaves me for as long as five months or even longer, and all I can do is sit, cry and wait until he comes back to me.
Although this man has a child from me, he is still hurting me. I thought that now the child is growing up, he would pull himself together and let us settle down.
He makes me cry every night, wondering if he loves me. He ought to because no man should hate a woman who brings forth a child for him and never even looked at another man.
Christine, please tell me what to do. Tell me if he loves me or hates me.
– Z
Dear Z,
As I was reading your letter
a statement you made caught my attention. You said: “He makes me cry every night wondering if he loves me.”
This man does not make you cry every night. You choose to do so, and if he really loves you, you won’t have to ask that question.
In fact, I could not tell you if he hates you, but I am certain that he does not love you. I cannot see why that is so hard for you to understand and how you cannot see that you are not getting anywhere with him.
It is not likely that he will settle down with you in a hurry, if ever. Surely, you are not planning to let your entire life be washed away with tears.
Wipe those tears from your eyes and start to live. Get involved in volunteer work; there are a number of organisations I can commend. Start thinking about your health, your welfare and that of your son.
You seem to be honest and sincere. Don’t throw away your life for a man who obviously doesn’t deserve your love. In short, I’m sure you can do much better.