That wicked mother-in-law
This letter is not intended to portray any malice, but I would like to open the eyes of women and to caution them about prospective mothers-in-law.
I was in a relationship which I thought would have lasted forever. My boyfriend went overseas to study, and I faithfully waited for his return.
After three years of coming and going, he never came back. The relationship was over, and I was not aware that it was. I later found out from “people in the street” that he was involved with someone else.
I remember that morning when I called his mother to find out if she had heard from him. This woman used to talk about me to her friends in a positive manner, would play with my face when I visited her home, called me her daughter-in-law, told her son he should never let me go, and talk to my mother on the phone occasionally.
That morning, when I asked about him, I was taken by surprise at the tone of her voice and the harsh words she uttered. A lump formed in my throat instantly and I could not swallow. I was told:
a. I had too many big plans for her son.
b. We used to be drawing up in one another too much.
c. I wanted to tie him down at a young age.
d. If I expected her son to marry someone like me; she prayed against me.
e. My mother and I wanted to take away her son.
f. I didn’t want him to have any friends.
g. He used to be with my family more that with hers.
h. She wanted him to find a proper and decent woman; not me.
i. I was overly possessive and forced him to do things he did not want to do.
j. I should have kept what I got to myself.
k. She does not know what kind of woman my mother is.
l. I loved him too much and he is her son; not mine.
m. I wanted to carry him away from her.
n. If I expected him to tell me the truth.
o. His father never walked her up the aisle, so who am I that something bad should not happen to me.
p. She wanted to spend time with her Christian brothers and sisters but we always had the phone.
Her words “killed me”. I suffered a stroke which affected me severely. I underwent speech and physical therapy and became an outpatient at the Psychiatric Hospital. I could not handle simple tasks or remember my name.
I was later admitted to the “mental ward” and was diagnosed with global amnesia schizophrenia, depression and neurosis. I don’t even remember being admitted.
I lost my appetite. With four days I went from 138 to 112 pounds. I was wetting myself, my sight and speech were partially lost, and I developed weak legs. In short, what I was told “sent me off”.
It seemed his mother was waiting to tell me those things at the lowest time in my life.
Shock can kill, and I felt as if my entire insides had dropped out because of her son’s betrayal and her words which were like acid sent to rip out my stomach.
Words cannot explain the pain I experienced for almost 20 years. Her words never left me and to this day she has no idea how they pierced my spirit.
I never disrespected this woman and I had no idea she disliked me so much. She visited me in hospital there and at home, but I felt as if I was being cursed.
She also told off my mother who was very upset but never once uttered a negative word. I was surprised at her humbleness and ability to remain peaceful.
Words are powerful and the tongue can kill. Words can make or break a person, and they cannot be recalled. The damage done as a result of her words was worse than physical wounds.
Christine, this is the first time in 18 years that I am speaking about my experience. I had to get this off my chest.
Thanks for sharing. It is my prayer that by sharing, you’ll experience healing from your past ordeal; that you will find comfort in knowing it was God who brought you through, and that you’ve actually won the victory: You still have life and hope.