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Dear John: Boss has me nervous


SHERRYLYN CLARKE, [email protected]

Dear John: Boss has me nervous

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Dear John, I am a young man in my early twenties.
I recently joined a company as a trainee salesman. I think I am really blessed to get such a job in these times of recession. But John, all the staff in the office are warning me to be careful.
They all tell me that my boss is gay and he will no doubt soon approach me. They tell me I must be very watchful how I handle his dealings with me or I will not survive the probation period of the job.
One lady tells me that many young men have been dismissed at the end of their probation and all the boss says is that they were really competent or capable.
John, the boss has now scheduled an overseas trip for me and him to visit some of our customers in the islands. I am extremely nervous and concerned as to how I must behave on this trip. John, I love women and I have never had even the slightest interest in any man or doing anything with any male.
Please give me some advice on how to handle any funny situation that may arise. I am a nervous young salesman.
?– NERVOUS SALESMAN
 
DEAR NERVOUS,
There is absolutely nothing to be afraid of. Your boss is a sick man who really needs help and you will not have anything to worry about. Consider taking the following guidelines for organising your trip:
(1) The colleagues in your office mean well in advising you of the manager’s homosexual tendencies. But if you are a real man you need not be suspicious or uncomfortable about going on a business trip with your boss. Do not misinterpret his every move or statement as an indirect or subtle or suggestive approach to you. Do not go looking for what may not be there.
(2) Establish very early that you do not share rooms with anyone. If he says that it will save money for the company tell him that you are prepared to pay for your own room and he can deduct it from your salary over the next three months. Watch and evaluate his reaction.
(3) Always protect your drinks and never leave any drink or food open or available for anyone to put anything, contaminant or drug therein. Be careful at all times how you protect yourself.
(4) If he is the touchy-touchy type of person just hold his hand firmly and remove it from your shoulder or knee and tell him you do like anyone touching you. Introduce and control conversations about your life and intentions to marry and raise a family. Show him the pretty girls and tell him how you feel when you see them. Tell him about your girlfriend whether you have one or not. Control conversations and send messages that you are a total woman’s man.
(5) Do not tell him anything about what the office staff has told you. If you lose the job there will always be another. Always thank God for his direction. Good luck, have no fear. Your boss needs help but you are not a consultant or counsellor.
– JOHN

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