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LOOKA LEW: Not me and ice


ERIC LEWS

LOOKA LEW: Not me and ice

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Not me! I am not pouring ice water over my head. So if you nominate me or looking to nominate me for the ice water challenge, you got the wrong man.

As you may know, there is this craze going around called the ALS ice bucket or ice water challenge, which started in the United States to raise awareness and funds for the disease amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), and it seems to be working well, ’cause many superstars, including Oprah Winfrey, have participated.

This is how it works: persons fill containers with ice and water and have it dumped over their heads; they also nominate people to do it. They film it being done and post it on social media. If you are nominated, you are supposed to make a donation and do the challenge within 24 hours. In Barbados I understand it is being done to raise money for the Challenor School.

Now, if you wanta do it, it is up to you, I ain’t gine get and call it foolishness, nor nothing so, and I am not knocking anyone for doing it. It looks like fun, and it is raising money for a good cause, but I ain’t doing it. I will donate, though, ’cause I know half the people I see on Facebook throwing cold water on them head ain’t donate a red cent to the Challenor School; them just wanta be in de do.

Anyhow, the reason why I ain’t doing it (and this is even before doctors came out and say it could be dangerous to your health) is this: I don’t like cold water unless I drinking it. There is a reason why I invested thousands of dollars in a solar heater, and that was to get away from bathing in cold water. In fact, if I could make the sea warm, trust me, it would be warm.

Like I said, it looks like fun, but them got a lot o’ things that look like fun that I ain’t doing, simply because I frighten to dead.

For instance, I have never been on the submarine them got ’bout here yet, and I ain’t gine, ’cause if something go wrong with that submarine I can’t get out and run. I ain’t gine under no water to look at fish. If I wanta see fish I would go in the fish market.

I ain’t parachuting neither. I see people does go up in airplanes, jump out, falling to earth before opening up a parachute and landing somewhere, and for them that is fun.

Suppose that parachute don’t open with me and I hit the ground and splatter out like a brek egg and dead. Do you know how foolish I would look trying to explain to God that I went up in a plane and jump out?

Even them Coney Island rides, I ain’t gine on them. If I wanta go on a ride that moving fast, got me screaming, tossing me ’bout sideways and crossways, shaking me up and down and got me feel like vomiting, then I would catch a ZR van.

But for some people that is fun, but not me. Any time you hear me screaming it is either a centipede in my pants or I win the Lotto. I watch enough TV to know that them rides does malfunction, and people does get pelt out and dead.

So yes, as soon as I get the li’l income tax refund I gine donate something, but the cold water thing ain’t for me.

See ya.

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