DEAR JOHN: She wants a divorce, but I don’t
My wife and I have been married for just four years.
Every day I try to please her by satisfying her wants, but all she says is she thinks we should divorce. She is a successful small businesswoman and I earn a living by doing a trade.
Yes, she makes more money than I do, but I still support the house and her three boys as well as the one she has for me. Each of her children has a different father but not one of them supports his child.
John, I love the woman. That is why I married her but now she is saying she wants a divorce and I do not know what to do.
An old gentleman always used to tell me that I should not marry her, but John, she needed someone to give her life meaning.
When she got pregnant for me I decided to marry her and promised that I would be a father to her three boys as well as mine. Now I am all confused and do not know what to do.
To me there is no real reason for divorce. She and I get along very well but she says she wants to get out of the marriage because I am not what she was looking for. I do not know what to do, this woman is crazy. Please advise me.
– CONFUSED AND BEWILDERED.
DEAR CONFUSED AND BEWILDERED,
Life is a great teacher, but like all students we sometimes ignore our teachers and do not take in the lessons. You have not given me a lot of information but I will try to answer you nonetheless. Consider the following:
(1) You may have made an unwise choice. Any woman who is willing to have four children from four different men is not “wife material”. The old man may not have explained it well, but he was giving excellent advice.
(2) The fact that she is a successful small businesswoman may have contributed to the other men not supporting their sons. Who told you that her life lacked meaning ? Why did she not put the fathers in court for child support ? What made you feel that you should be a “Good Samaritan”?
(3) If as you say you treat her well, her constant call for divorce may just be a cry for help and guidance. You both seem to need mature counselling. You are already married and it seems that you would like to hold on to the relationship. Seek help for both of you form a competent pastor or priest before you go to a divorce lawyer. Marriage is a very serious business and you both seem to need guidance and support. Good luck and may God bless your working out of the problem.