Dear Christine,
I have been married for ten years and have two children. My problem is my husband works all day and then after work, he goes to the rum shop to hang out with the boys. He stays there until it’s time to sleep so I hardly get to spend any quality time with him.
As a matter of fact, many times he comes in after I have gone to sleep. The few hours we spend together during the week before he goes off to work are usually with him forever finding fault about the house, the sheets on the bed, or something he thinks needs to be done. He does not help out around the house and hardly spends time with the children.
I am employed, as he is and would love for him to help me. Most of his money goes into buying rum.
After ten years, I am of the opinion that he only wants me in the house to clean and cook. If this is married life, I do not want much more of it. I wonder where I should go from here.
– C.R.
Dear C.R.,
There is no denying that you are getting the bad end of the stick so to speak. If this man is all you have described him to be and you are not happy in this marriage, then you need to get out of it, especially if you think your husband is unlikely to change.
If, however, you really care for him and in the depths of your heart you still love him, you’ll have to do a few things to make him aware of what you are going through.
Since you also work, let him know if he wants the house clean, he can clean and wash anytime he likes.
I do not expect him to be thrilled by this, but it may just jolt him into appreciating what you are doing to keep your home together. As things are, they cannot get any worse and chances are they might get better. A good heart-to-heart talk should tell you where you stand and help you to make the right decision.
– CHRISTINE