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LOOKA LEW: Listen up, men lovers

Eric Lewis

LOOKA LEW: Listen up, men lovers

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Look, if you are a man and you are a man lover, as far as I am concern that is your business.

In other words, if you are a man and you prefer making love to menfolk, or enjoy menfolk kissing you up and calling you lovey-dovey, sweetie pie, sugar dumpling, that ain’t got nothing to do with me. It ain’t for me to judge you.

Truthfully, I might not understand it, because really and truly, I can’t see myself kissing up another beardy face, pot guts man like me, or lying in bed with some person who got similar plumbing.

In fact, the only person who I does allow near my southern district to do any exploration, is my doctor, cause I am at that age where I does have to get the prostate check.

So other than my yearly doctor visit, that back road carries a no-entry sign, and is used strictly as a one-way street for exiting sewerage vehicles.

Anyhow, like I said, if you are a man who like men, that is your business, I too old to worry bout who gay and who ain’t gay. So long as you don’t bring your railing to my paling, we good.

But I does got issues with men who wanta be with Tarzan but still want Jane too.

Wunna done know, them got some men bout here who does be cocks in the day and hens at night. They got girlfriends or wives, even children, but them dealing with men on the side, and the women ain’t got a clue. My message to these men is to please stick to one thing.

The old people used to always say, “yuh can’t suck cane and whistle at the same time”, and it is true, so choose one.

When you go to a buffet, they does have a different serving utensil for each dish. The same spoon you take up the rice with, you don’t dip into the gravy. And the same fork you serving the pork with, you don’t serve the fish with. And of course if you serving ice cream, the same scoop you take up the chocolate ice cream with, you don’t dip into the vanilla ice cream. You understand me?

But if you insist that you wanta deal with men and still want woman too, then be man enough to tell the woman you dealing with or plan to deal with, that you like to be with a gentleman every now and then, so she could decide if she wanta be with you.

Because let’s face it, there are heterosexual men who are very honest about being dishonest, and who would put all their cards on the table if a woman is running them down or if they going after a woman. They would let her know very early that they live in a house with a woman, and allow her to decide if she is interested in going any further.

You see, it is one thing for a woman to catch her man in bed with another woman. But it is another thing for her to come home sudden and catch him sitting down naked as he born in another man’s lap. Them kinda things does send women mad.

So fellas, the long and short of it is this; if you like men, stick to men, don’t spoil things for the women or other fellas. And always, always remember, the rice spoon for the rice and the gravy spoon for the gravy, don’t mix up things.

See ya.