LOOKA LEW: Only a Bajan . . .
“Wait, that is you?”
I ain’t telling no lies, but only a Bajan would see you and ask you if it is you. And do you know the amazing thing about it? The amazing thing ’bout it is that we does answer, we would answer and say, “yeah, it is me.”
Don’t laugh, you would say, “yeah it is me”, and believe it or not, that person would argue and tell you, “man no, dah can’t be you”.
I mean to say, like who else could it be? It could only be you, it can’t be nobody else. But that is one thing ’bout Bajans, we does say and do some of the most comical things.
For instance, a Bajan would go in a shop and call for a soft drink. Before going to the fridge to get it, the shopkeeper would ask them what type of drink they want. The Bajan would say to bring any drink, it don’t matter. But when the shopkeeper brings the first drink he puts his hands on, you would hear the Bajan cry out and say, “man no, not that one, I don’t like orange drinks.”
The poor shopkeeper goes back to the fridge, takes up another drink, and while he is bringing it the Bajan would shout, “not that one neither… man bring a ginger ale for me…in fact bring a Coke.”
Or a Bajan would go in a shop and call for a ham cutter, the shopkeeper says, “I ain’t got no ham.”
And hear the Bajan, “how you mean you ain’t got no ham?”
“That is what I say, I ain’t got no ham,” says the shopkeeper.
“You mean you ain’t got no ham at all?” asks the Bajan
“That is what I just tell you, I ain’t got no ham,” replies the shopkeeper.And listen to the Bajan, “so you ain’t got no ham at all, at all, at all, not even a lil piece?”
But this is the killer part, the shopkeeper would say, “alright, hold on a minute, I gine and check.” And two minutes later he would return with a ham cutter and say, “boy you lucky, you get de last piece.”
I serious, ’bout here does kill me with laugh. Now you would be at the bus stop, and somebody there would be telling you about how long them was waiting for the bus. The bus comes and when you get in the bus behind that person, they now decide to search through their bag for bus fare, only then to pull out a $5 bill, hold it up, and at the top of them voice ask, “anybody in here could change this?”
And don’t ask a Bajan for directions to get anywhere, cause even if them ain’t have a clue ’bout where you talking ’bout, they gine still give you directions.
They does start out by saying, “I really ain’t sure where it is.” But they don’t shut up and leave it at that; them ain’t sure but they giving directions.
Hear them, “I ain’t so sure where it is, but if you follow this road and go so, then turn so, keep straight and tek either de second or third right, I can’t remember which one, go down de hill and swing below not above de tamarind tree and you gine see a cow, then a shop with some fellas sitting on de step, ask one of dem fellas how to get there, cause I ain’t so sure where it is.”
Tell me if I lie. See ya.
Email: [email protected]