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FAMILY FUSION: The adultery sniper


Rev. Haynesley Griffith

FAMILY FUSION: The adultery sniper

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“The only reason I don’t want to commit adultery is because I love my wife and I love my Lord.” – Joseph Prince

I enjoy viewing nature, especially how animals, fish and birds with their limited grey matter can demonstrate such excellent examples of faithfulness to their partners. Unfortunately, husbands and wives in the human world seem to have difficulty in manifesting similar traits of fidelity.

I love the serious manner with which the Black Vultures guard their family relations. I am told that these birds are so committed to keeping their monogamous relationship intact, that if they discover that another Black Vulture is cheating on its mate, they would attack it. Scientists also discovered that the French angelfish possesses an extremely strong “marriage” bond, which lasts for a lifetime. Not only are these coupled angelfish seldom seen apart, but they also work together as a team and are very quick to defend their territory from intruders. These outstanding role models sometimes put the human families to shame when it comes to marital fidelity. 

In underscoring God’s model for the human family, He made a powerful declaration in Genesis 2:24: “A man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” The expressions, ‘leaving’, ‘uniting’ and ‘cleaving’ do not speak to a loose bond but a solid, sturdy and sustained relationship that should be separated only by death. That is God’s blueprint. 

The adultery sniper has always been in opposition to God’s model for mankind. This well known veteran sniper has vigorously sought to force its way between a husband and wife to destabilise the relationship and cut the cord of commitment between them, slowly and painfully disabling and destroying the marriage.

I have already written about the cellphone and pornography snipers. Today the adultery sniper is under scrutiny. 

As wih  the faithfulness of the Black Vulture and French Angelfish, I am elated at the young and mature husbands and wives who speak of their unflinching moral loyalty to their spouses.

These committed spouses understand the baneful nature of the adultery sniper and daily keep the doors and windows of their marriage as tightly closed and sealed as possible.

Although no marriage is affair-proof, the decision of every couple to leave no room for the adultery sharpshooter to penetrate their marriage must be firm and forceful. The adultery sniper has not changed its tactics for years, yet so many fall into its wide, welcoming, open arms.

Here are just a few of the many areas in which you as a partner should be vigilant, and block the adultery sniper from assassinating your marriage and family life.  

1. Friendships: The sniper has a way of testing out the strength of your marriage through friendships. Because we are social beings, friendships are great to develop.

However, if such friendships become too close, it may afford the adultery sniper opportunities to generate distance between you and your spouse.

The sniper has a way of making you increasingly comfortable with that friend, where you may begin to desire to be frequently in contact with or in the friend’s company and may secretly seek to take the person to lunch or dinner. At this stage, the sniper is preparing to gun down your marriage. 

I met several targeted spouses who gave me the identical story and had refused to listen to their observant spouses. They were shot down and their marriages regrettably suffered. Never stop building a robust friendship with your spouse, because it hinders the advances of the adultery sniper. 

2. Busyness: Not spending enough quality time with each other as a couple, because of work or other time-consuming matters, can create a weak link in the marriage.

The weak link may give the sniper an opportunity to lurk in the shadows of such an environment, and seriously hurt the relationship. Busyness can cause the flames of your marriage to burn low and allow the sniper to divert your attention away from the safety of your spouse and push you into the arms of another individual. 

I listen to husbands and wives who speak of how they got caught up in being away from their spouses so often, that it frustrated their marriage and they fell into the waiting arms of the adultery sniper.

My counsel to you is to see your spouse as high in the list of your priorities, and plan quality time to be with him or her, no matter what the demands of life present.  The physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual needs of your spouse must be worked into your schedule, making it difficult for the sniper to successfully hit any vital organs of your marriage.

3. Covetousness: The Maker of marriage in His wisdom said in one of His Commandments: “Thou shall not commit adultery.” (Exodus 20:14)  Many spouses deliberately decided to ignore God’s wise injunction and allowed the adultery sniper, with thousands of years’ experience and several marriage deaths to its name, to position their marriages and family relationships for destruction. I am aware of so many spouses and children who continue to suffer financially, emotionally, mentally, socially, physically and spiritually because of their partner’s sexual greed. 

The wise man Solomon, in Proverbs 6:32-33, said that an individual who surrenders to the adultery sniper lacks understanding, because it is like putting real fire in his bosom.

In the same passage, Solomon added that the adultery sniper has the potential to destroy (morally corrupt) the person’s soul (mind, emotions and will). Therefore, the sniper does not seek to kill one area of an individual’s personal and family life with a single shot; the sniper tries to destroy as much as possible with that “bullet”. 

My advice is to purpose in your heart to keep your mind’s eyes sharply on your spouse and avoid yielding to any temptation from the sniper that may seek to draw you away from your marriage commitment. A firm friendship, good quality time and a steady loving look, all toward your spouse, will frustrate the adultery sniper. Try them.   

• Rev. Haynesley Griffith is a marriage and family life consultant. Email [email protected]

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