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I CONFESS: Hoping for wife to return

Barbados Nation

I CONFESS: Hoping for wife to return

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This is my first Christmas as a married man and it should be the happiest in my life, but it isn’t. Right now I am hurting badly and feel like I would just leave the country and not ever look back.

The cause of my agony is my wife of a couple months. She has left home and is now living in an apartment, and I’ve tried my best to get her to come back to me, but she won’t.

First, I begged her not to go. After being only married for a couple months she said she could no longer stand to be with me.

I kept asking her why she wanted to leave me in the first place as I had done nothing to hurt her or our relationship. All she would say was that we rushed into marriage as we had only courted for four months. She felt confined and needed room, she kept saying. She felt as if she no longer had her freedom and she was too young to “pin” herself down the way she did by marriage.

She would then repeat that foolish saying: “If something belongs to you, when you let it go it will come back to you. But if it is not for you, then it will not.”

When I could not convince her not to leave, I decided to pay for the apartment she had chosen, hoping she would realise that I still cared and wanted to ensure that she was okay.

I know this whole thing might sound weird to most of you, but believe me, that is what happened. I really loved this woman and did not want to lose her and, as desperate times demand desperate actions, I took the steps I did.

The obvious question is: Why did I marry her after such a short courtship?

The truth is, it was the sex. I never had sex like that before in my life. That woman knows how to please a man. She did things to me that I only saw on movies. To me she is a goddess. She lit up my life and made me realise that living was not just about working and saving money. She encouraged me to live, to dress well, to go out, have fun, do something different. She was like a breath of fresh air for me; that something different that I had yearned for all my life.

It was because of her liveliness and loving that I wanted her so much, and why I encouraged her to marry me, though she was very reluctant. Admittedly, the fact that she was not working acted in my favour. She likes good things and they cost money, so I gave her that in abundance and promised more if she became my wife. I think that finally swayed her.

The thing is, after we got married and a friend of mine organised a good job for her, then my trouble began. For the first two months on the job she seemed to be anxious to learn everything and get to know everyone. During that time she remained loving and kind with me.

In fact, we seemed so much in love that people used to remark how good we looked together as a couple, as we always had our fingers intertwined and she would always be smiling and attentive to me.

Around that time I was even more convinced I had done the right thing by marrying her even though a police friend had told me she was no good. He had advised me not to trust her and, if I did get involved with her, just have sex. However, she seemed to have changed. But he did warn me to be careful as leopards don’t change their spots.

I didn’t have to wait long to see his words come to pass. After she got through her three-month probation, and so got on staff, her attitude began to change.

She wanted to go out more and, for no reason at all, we started having all sorts of noises about little, pointless things.

But worst of all was the lying. She lied about things as if she just wanted me to get fed up with her and walk away. Her worst lie was after we separated and I went to her workplace to see her as she would not answer her cellphone. She told the manager that I came to harass her, which prompted him to tell me not to come back on the premises, and if I did, he would have to call the police.

Despite all of this, I still care for her and continue to beg her to return to me. I even called the man I heard she is talking with and told him to leave her out because she was a married woman and he was breaking up my family. He denied it, but I have seen them together since.

I know some of you may be saying, like my family does, that I deserve what I’m getting for marrying this woman. I was warned about her and I should have heeded the warning. But I felt she could have changed, and I still believe that. I hope that when she sees this article and realises I still care for her deeply, that she would return to me so we can spend a good Christmas together.