DEAR CHRISTINE: Gay feelings have me depressed
I GET THE NATION where I live and so I’ll be able to see what you think of my problem, which I would like to share with you.
I am married and quite happy with my wife. We have three beautiful children but it’s always been in the back of my mind that I am a homosexual.
I find myself being drawn deeper into the wish to find out. I have been married for 12 years and I love my wife and children. I do not want to part with them. In fact, I have never been unfaithful to my wife and despite my feelings, I do not think I ever will. However, these thoughts have me somewhat depressed. A friend has suggested that I have a long talk with my wife and let her know how I feel and admit that’s the reason for my depression. She has always been an understanding individual but I am not sure how she will handle this particular problem.
My depression has her worried and this hurts. Do you believe I should spill everything out to her?
– Mr B
Dear Mr B,
Of course you should. Why try to carry this burden all on your own especially when your depression over the situation is affecting her?
I think it is time that you have a long and open talk with her concerning your feelings – which I believe are nothing more than that. They may be fantasies you are currently entertaining and you should do your utmost not to allow them to overtake you. Judging from your letter, I can see you don’t intend for them to do so. I am sure that after a talk with your wife, you will have a better handle on this situation.
Your situation reminds me of a friend who was experiencing feelings similar to yours. When she discussed them with her husband, she realised it was just a fantasy which she had from the time she was a teenager and heard about same-sex relationships. In the end, she admitted that she loved her husband and would not have it any other way.
I am sure these feelings will pass and you’ll find you’re perfectly happy with your wife and children.
Have that talk right away. You may also need to see a doctor if this state of depression continues.