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THE LOWDOWN: A quack quack there


RICHARD HOAD

THE LOWDOWN: A quack quack there

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A SEXY YOUNG THING from California once suggested I have a blog. I thought about it. Then recalled that same damsel had done a sun tattoo on her butt to impress the boyfriend. Result: serious sunburn. And while he enjoyed calamining the affected area, he got tired telling friends she couldn’t sit because of her psorasis.

So I dissed the blog idea. But now I see Eric Lewis has a blog, along with Roy, Antoinette, Tony Cozier, Eric Smith, and Andi. Veoma doesn’t. But then Veoma doesn’t have to put her email address like the rest of us. It’s all too high for me.

By the way, Veoma, a frustrated Sandy Lane playboy drew that address thing to my attention. Maybe he wants to invite you to one of his topless squash parties where the ladies bang away wearing only nippy white shorts.  

Meanwhile, I’m trying to dig the Internet romance routine. Veoma has sent me a hot recording of her singing (probably in the shower – there’s a bit of shhhh).

I believe I’m now supposed to send her a nude selfie which she will post on Hamstergram. Then I will twit that it was a cold morning so my apps was seriously downloaded, okay? That about right?

Anyhow, today I’m doing a blog. But while in the Eric, Eric, Cozier, Roy, Andi and Antoinette context, blog stands for “Best Looking Online Geezers”, in my case it’s “Big Lot of Gibberish”. Cool!

First off, the death penalty. You don’t agree, no problem. But don’t come with the bull about “instead, imprison for life, no parole”. The Yorkshire Ripper savagely murdered 13 women and got life. According to the Daily Mail, he “is enjoying a cushy lifestyle in Broadmoor, eating chocolate, watching TV, listening to music”. He’s allowed visitors, including his ex-wife, four days a week for up to four hours. He costs taxpayers over £300 000 a year.

Yet there are those who would give him parole. Eugene de Kock, nicknamed “Prime Evil”, got his last week. Responsible for torture and assassinations in apartheid South Africa, he was sentenced to two life sentences plus 212 years in 1996.

He is now a free man.

Point here: that “no parole” is bare ole talk. The murderers of your loved ones know they will be set free at some point.

So if you lobby against effective punishment, at least have a twinge of conscience every time another is raped or killed.

Okay, time for a drink. And nothing hits the spot like an AT Nicholls Golden Apple or Cane Juice nectar. This week he handled me proper with provisions. While a vendor in Speightstown gave me a free breadfruit.

Barbados still sweet!

And what goes with a drink? A Brindisi, of course! That’s a drinking song. In honour of Africa Awareness Month, check out this Brindisi by South African group Bella Voce Africa. In my opinion, this fellow has Pavarotti covered: http://www.youtube.com/embed/YkDUvRQTDzc.

Next thing: “I am sorry”, says Shantal Munro-Knight, “just because I go to school or work in an organisation does not give those in authority the right to introduce standards which impact on my fundamental rights and freedoms . . . ” She’s talking about the hairstyle thing.

My question: Do we in authority have any fundamental rights and freedoms? All such standards must be arbitrary.

I personally would not employ a man with an earring or a woman with a thing through her tongue.

It freaks me out. Nor can I rationalise why a woman can expose the crease between her breasts but today’s young male workers shouldn’t expose the crease of their pooches. After all, they’re all body parts.  

Whoops, space running out. Think I’d better leave blogs to the Best Looking Six. Must tell you, though. Nefertari Caddle came visiting. Told her my old cock was getting down. She disagreed and took him to Dr Huey. Next day she arrives and shouts from afar: “I’ve come to give you a duck!” That’s two now, A quack quack here, a quack quack there . . . .

Last thing, happy 80th birthday to Roger Wright of Canada who is now here for his 46th visit with wife Gloria. Also to another Canadian Gillian who visited us last Sunday. She just hit 82. Still into everything and helping out with local sports. Go, Canadians!

Richard Hoad is a farmer and social commentator. Email [email protected]

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