DEAR CHRISTINE: I’m in love with my cousin

Dear Christine,

I HAVE A REALLY BIG PROBLEM, or so it seems. I am in love with my cousin.

I never meant for this to happen; neither did he. We met at a friend’s home and started talking to each other on the telephone thereafter. He told me he lived abroad for many years and was considering returning to his Bajan roots.

We went out on a few occasions but have only gone as far as to kiss each other. About five months into our relationship I introduced him to an older sister who also lives abroad. It was then she told me “he is a cousin” of mine. Christine, he is not even a third cousin, but a second cousin.

My father died when I was really young and I never really knew my father’s side of the family.

Christine, we were both disappointed when we were told this and a little embarrassed. Yet, we both agree that we care for each other and should not allow this new knowledge to stand in our way. Would it be wrong for us to continue our relationship?

– Waiting

Dear Waiting,

Absolutely wrong! This man is your relative and a close one at that.

You must also consider the fact that the genetics between you two will work against you, especially if there were any bad genes in the family which will show up in your offspring.

Be thankful that you discovered your family ties before it was too late and certainly before the relationship had reached a greater physical level. I cannot tell you to have a good laugh and move on because you may find this hard to do.

However, you have to move beyond what you feel and face the fact that such relationships are not lawfully accepted in this part of the world.

– CHRISTINE