DEAR CHRISTINE: Can’t find any middle ground
This is my very first time writing to you and I sincerely hope you will be able to give me the best advice.
Last year I met a man whom I thought was really wonderful. We met while I was vacationing on the island. Since my return home in October, I have returned to the island on two separate occasions.
This man is a nice guy. He is single and has no children. I guess you could say that it was on that basis that I decided to give our friendship a chance to grow.
This is now four months into our relationship and he wants to get married as soon as August this year. I am thinking that the relationship is going a bit too fast for me. Should I say yes to him? We have not even made a decision concerning where we will live. He has a house here and I have one in the United States where I came from.
I have been making some hints about our situation and he is convinced that it would be better for me to live here since I am my own boss in my company. On the other hand, I am convinced that he stands a better chance in the United States, based on his career choice.
Since neither of us seems to know what we should do, I am hoping you will tell me where is the middle ground.
I know this is a hard decision for you to make. After all, once you are married, it won’t be your wish to be separated from each other for any long period.
The middle ground is this: One of you will have to compromise and since I believe that the man must play his role as the head of the home, you should really give way to him.
The relationship is relatively young and you are now beginning to see your roles as partners in every area of your lives. I cannot say that four months is too short a period to get married. Some people do so just weeks after meeting each other because they come to the conclusion they are absolutely sure this person is “the one”.
You have the option of keeping both homes and moving to and fro, but I am sure that may prove to be a bit of a burden for you.
So, take my advice and let him take the lead in this case. Listen carefully to his way of reasoning. You might discover that the decision will be the best one.